The most horrific way she crushes my soul, how do I respond?

I tear up sometimes,
When I see a couple kiss in the halls
By windows, lockers, classrooms.
Girls stand on their toes as they caress the mans cheek kissing him and then giving him a smile, looks sort of strange, looks like a smile that shows nothing more than interest.

I hear girls say "I love you" to the guys. One sits on his lap kissing him or conversating, one puts her head on his thigh as she lays down looking up.

I see girls who hold the guys arm with both hands as he walks... I see girls just smiling and looking into his' eyes.

What's my situation?
Everything I say above is what I love, adore and they are moments I collect, even if they aren't mine. My girlfriend considers herself "not clingy" and a girl who "gives space".

I want her to smile at me. Say I love you. Touch me. Kiss me. I love her. With her for 3 years now.

I have to be the one to say "I love you", the one to kiss her hello and goodbye, if I dont, she won't. I sometimes beg her to sit on my lap and kiss me or just for us to be closer this way, she would say no.

I tell her to kiss me more, she says "I do when I want to" she doesn't smile at me. She gives me a cringed facial expression.
She never touches me, if she does then its rare, holding hands or if she is reaching for something. Hugs are obtainable, but of course I have to do it as her arms are not all the time but ofter down.

Her sex drive? Forget about it. I must wind that engine up myself in order to get something out of her. She never. Ever. Goes for it.

I unfold all my feeling to her about all of it everything I ever want. She just has an answer for everything "not every girl is this way". I have cried for days after she said she isn't comfortable saying "I love you" to me. But she does say "I love you too" only when I say "I love you" I told her that I feel miserable and that I cried for days after what she said; "look, I'm not comfortable"

Any advice? I don't want to break up with her just yet... I know her too well.
The most horrific way she crushes my soul, how do I respond?
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