Are you ok with your partner talking to their ex?

Some context. One of my partners exes was in drama club with me in high school and we did not get along and I kind of hate her due to reasons unrelated to my partner. Fast forward out of high school. My partner and I are married in our 20s and he starts wanting to hang out with an old friend from high school. Problem is this friend almost always hangs out with a big group of people which includes this ex. We hang out with this group a few times. Me and the ex still dont get along and its really uncomfortable but I do it because I know my partner wants to hang out with his friend. We haven't hung out with them in a while. My partner and I go to a local festival with my family and he apparently sees his ex there in passing but doesn't mention it until later and I am naturally like okay? Why are you telling me this? Later that night I found out he messaged his ex via instagram after the festival. I ask him why he would do that behind my back and he said he wanted to be friends with her and hid it from me because he knew I would be mad. He tried to guilt me by telling me by not wanting him to talk to / be friends with his ex I was being controlling and abusive. He later changed his story and said he did it to see if I had access to his account... when he already knew this because our accounts are linked and we know each others passwords. And no I dont check his social medias but because our accounts are linked I get notifications from his instagram account which again, he never uses anymore.

Tl;dr: my partner started talking to his ex despite it making me uncomfortable and says I'm the bad guy for not allowing him to be her friend. What would you do if you were me? Am I wrong?
2 d
My partner and his ex are NOT friends. They haven't even spoken since high school. The friend I mentioned in my op is a different person entirely. He just wants to become friends with the ex
Are you ok with your partner talking to their ex?
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