It’s all my fault he left?

My ex and I broke up in October. It’s now December and before you say anything we’ve been in off and on contact since then so it’s harder to get over him. When we were together he treated me so well. I don't know what changed he told me we should be friends with benefits and didn’t wanna go back to the relationship but wanted something casual. This hurt me because it made me think he lied about his feelings. I don’t understand why he doesn’t appreciate me now like he did when we were togetherhe acts so immature now sometimes when we argue he’ll be like “lol” whereas in the relationship he would wanna talk it out. Ik he’s my ex and he owes me nothing and vice Versa but he was SOO good to me while dating which is why I can’t leave him alone. I’m trying not to text but it hurts and I’m trying to be strong. He was my first boyfriend and please don’t say “just get over him” because I’m trying it’s just hard. It’s really not that easy. I keep blaming myself because I would argue with him and he would be like “are you trying to push me away?”
How could he not miss me especially when he said I was all he needed and was perfect for him. People break up and get back together all the time.
my mom thinks that he knows I need him and will text him so that’s why he’s not doing anything and I should show him that I don’t need him by living my life. He looks at my Snap but does he not miss me at ALL? will he come back? A lot of ppls exes seem do! We broke up bc of distance but we’re in college rn and I really wanna text him right now and be honest about everything and that I miss us and to start over but I’m always texting first. I just feel like I didn’t do enough
It’s all my fault he left?
Add Opinion