So true and some have no cures.
Careful and self-aware, two good traits in a human!
@GreenPenguin yeah, it's sad cause now these young people don't care just fucking everyone with out condoms that nasty..🤢🤮
@PetrovaFire92 Totally. It's just gross. They're out of control.
@Jamie05rhs like they have no self control. .. boys or girls..
@PetrovaFire92 I know.
It's probably why there are so many STDs
@DylanXBailly Agreed, maybe that is beside pornography (no condom but being in a woman's butt then next an other's pussy is just mega-gross!) the main reason for spread of STIs/STDs.@PetrovaFire92 Same feelings here!
In the poly community, condoms are used pretty much all the time. It's rare for someone to not use it. It's much more common for people that are polyamorous to use condoms than people that are monogamous
@roland77 that's nasty if they are fucking a lady's but an use that same condom on another lady's vaginal area..🤢🤮 an didn't even change the condom... that's just nasty.. still I wouldn't be in a open relationship.. I'm to selfish I"m a Scorpio!.
Thank You I got it from My Grandmother from my father’s side.
I mean sometimes I do feel a little bit jealous
Yea I do get jealous.
Yeah specially when she's giving it to someone else a lot and not really given me any
Most people have some form of jealousy while in open relationship. I've heard that a way to fix this is to not think of it as you getting snubbed of love or intimacy, but rather look at it from your partners point of view. Their happiness should matter to you too. The feeling of compersion is essential.
If jealously is coming up, open up to her or close relationship once and for all. Your both choice, as I hope.
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Well, marriage was actually made in order to have the female be faithful to her man so that this man could know that the child was his so he could give his inheritance to them. Originally, humans weren't monogamous, and even after the invention of marriage... Only women were supposed to be faithful, the man could do whatever. This is why only the women would be punished for being unfaithful (Which is still the standard some places in the world today).And remember that an open relationship is a form of consensual non-monogamy where both parties agree that they can see other people too. It's not like they no longer love each other or that they love each other less. It's simply the fact that they realized they can love more than one person at a time.I understand how this is not for everyone, but you shouldn't go about and say that it's all wrong.
@GreenPenguin Hey, and so should the male be faithful to his wife!@SueShe Careful, he is into #polygamy.
@roland77 note that polygamy Is not the same as polyamory. And you got to read and understand what you have read before you write a reply.
@GreenPenguin Dictionary says no difference: https://m.dict.cc/deen/?s=polyamory But I can check more websites.
@roland77 The dictionary says that polygamy is where one person is married to multiple partners.Polyamory is where all parties are allowed to have multiple partners, and ut has nothing to do with marriage.
@GreenPenguin Ah, okay. Thank you for making it clear.
Exactly! What if one day my girlfriend (we are both monogamous, so no chance for an "open relationship") loves him more than me and gives him more attention than me no matter how much I communicate to her?
So if I'm your friend, we can't have any other friends? I have a lot of friendly relationship with people, I can't see why it's supposed to be exclusive... I think your understanding of the word "relationship" is greatly flawed.
@GreenPenguin I think YOUR understanding of 'relationship' is greatly flawed. If we're talking relationship in terms of a ROMANTIC relationship (which is what I meant by 'commonly used') then I don't see how you can make this argument.I agree that you can have as many friends as you like. That's the nature of friendship. Is friendship a "relationship" ... sure... it often is thought of that way... but... that's specifically why I specified that It was the "common use" or "romantic relationship". So unless we're just missing each other on my saying "as the term is commonly used" then I don't know how friendship has anything to do with it. In fact it's the exclusivity (in terms of romantic affection and sexual access) IS what technically differentiates a 'friend' from someone you're 'in a relationship with' (as the term is commonly used).
@SteveSmith1985 Well said should be voted #mhg answer, also because of your reply of flawed views of relationships. :-) You actually made a point here.
A romantic relationship is a bit different, but it's still a relationship, it has nothing to do with being exclusive. You can have several romantic relationships before actually getting committed. Personally before I got together with my now wife, I had quite a few romantic and/or flirtatious relationships to others. Relationship has in no way ever meant exclusive.
@GreenPenguin I don't know where you're from... but here, being "in a relationship" is SYNONYMOUS with being exclusive. I'm done arguing about this
There will always be jealousy in open relationships. Just like there is jealousy between friends. When some friends do something fun together, but you're not with them, you feel jealous too.And of course open relationships can fail, but so can monogamous relationships. Like my mother, she's in her third marriage and has had more monogamous relationships during the 5 years between her 2nd and 3rd husband than I've ever had in total, and I'm in a polyamorous relationship.
@GreenPenguin I'm glad it works for you. But it doesn't work for everyone. And agreed monogomous relationships don't always work for everyone. But it did for me.We're all entitled to our views.I stated mine. I didn't knock anyone for what they do.But if you don't believe in one man one woman, why get married which is supposed to be a union between two people 'forsaking" all others?I guess that's the part I don't understand 🤷
Agreed plus I don’t share my wife.
@Athena098 Er, "wife"?
"Communication and trust (don't break rules predefined) is the key in an open relationship."Spot on!
Well explained, communication is by the way also key in closed relationships, not just open. :-)
Of course they work in the long term... There are plenty of long term polyamorous relationships out there... Sure, a lot of them fail, but monogamous relationships doesn't exactly have a perfect track record either...
@GreenPenguin It's not about the statistical outcome of any of those two options. It's about the dynamic within. People make partner choices. Sometimes the dynamic works, sometimes we decide we're not compatible. Point is, it should be a bond between two emotionally stable people. It's the ideal, but of course in reality... Polyamory already accepts the certainty of the fact people will split up at some point. It's a self-defense mechanism for not really opening up to a person. You always have several choices, so it's a somewhat calculated bet against the possible pain you experience when it doesn't work out. Basically, polyamorous people don't want to be single at any time, knowing they have a back up. It's very much conditional love as it's about personal needs instead of unselfish supporting the other. Research shows that polyamorous people are more victims of depression, anxiety, etc. Or those people are more prone to self-centered emotions, or they show unhealthy codependent behavior. So the conditional bond is a quick fixing self-soothing thing in order to evade the anxiety problems, and the unsolved intimacy issues, within themselves. Of course nobody in a polyamorous relationship is going to admit it out loud. But show me that kind of a "free spirit", I'll show you a person with a youth background of unstable family dynamics, insecure bonding with parental figures, etc.
You wrote: "You always have several choices, so it's a somewhat calculated bet against the possible pain you experience when it doesn't work out."There are always bad relationships, and people doing it for the wrong reasons and all that, but it's not something that doesn't work, and it certainly isn't something we only do because we're afraid of splitting up.There are happy married couples who decide to open up for poly because they realize that they can love more than one person, because they are now able to have more close friends and more intimacy with other.
@GreenPenguin I know the talk. Ask them again in a few years. I didn't encounter one of them more happy and free of worries in the long run. I have both male and female friends doing it. Almost all of them are or were in therapy or have more problems with substance abuse. If you really want some physical excitement but the emotional bond is tight between you and your partner, there are other options. But don't expect me to believe the communal feeling with only positive vibes. It didn't work in the 60s for a reason.
In sum. You can reprogram thoughts as a way of agitating against the norm. Questioning dominant cultural codes is a sign of intelligence. But you cannot reprogram feelings.
When talking about the norm it gotta be said, Polyamory used to be the norm. Monogamy was invented due to men wanting to pass their heritage to their son, so they came up with marriage where the woman now belong to the man and could not be intimate with anyone else.(Naturally this rule didn't apply to men until about 200 years ago.)It's clearly worked out before, and I see it working now. And yes, feelings can get in the way, but that's not exclusive to poly relationships nor is it in every poly relationship.
@GreenPenguin Yes. But we're living in a particular historical context. Namely a highly developed capitalist one. To each stage of hstory belongs the general form of sexual association. In our age, monogamy. With that, we developed a set of emotions specifically adapted to the societal context. If you would decide to live like a hunter gatherer in our day and age, you would be socially isolated and you couldn't properly function as a human being. The communes of the 60s thought they could live outside history, and they failed.
Ps. We now choose by free will. Emotional will, not by customs. And everywhere free will replaced customary forms of sexual association, monogamy quickly became the norm.
Explore all her depths (not sexually strictly but primarily into her psyche) and getting to her really close. Sure that leaves you vulnerable to her but same back. Be careful with that and respect her (being respected back) and it might work out. And if feeling of love drops, you can renew it.
Some find it liberating but I think that is just their vision and interpretation of liberty.
Good analysis. :-) We should ask psychologists about it to "dig" deeper into it.
Open relationships are an umbrella term used for all consensual non-monogamous relationships and many people who's not very familiar with the term automaticly assume it's all about casual sex with many different people while in a relationship. It can be like that, but it's far from limited to just that. Polyamory, an underterm of open relationships, can take many different forms. It can even be sexless for that 1 person who is not sexually attracted to anyone, but is romanticly. It's about cultivating many diifferent kinds of relationships should you so choose. It takes effort. You can't do whatever you want. It's important that people know that before they dismiss it as not part of our society. Love can be so beautiful. Why can we love all our children, have many different friends, but expected to only have 1 partner that magically need to know and fulfill all our needs?
And having more fuck-buddies "free" of charge?
STIs are real, I agree. Gladly I never had one (being in monogamous is much safer as it is confirmed by many doctors).
Thank You that’s my sister.
You are both blessed. I'd make you the happiest woman alive and never stray... EVER !
I want sex with more women as just with one but not at the same time. Serial (on after another, with a respect to them) is fine. It is a #serial #monogamy I'm only in. I cannot share, I feel #jealousy and don't tell me not feel it.
@roland77 Why would I tell you not to feel it? Feel whatever you want. But the point is, you yourself just admitted that you also feel the desire I'm talking about.
When I say "i don't notice others sex appeal"I mean I don't have sexual thoughts about others when I hold someone in my heart.
That's kinda like me I become all about the person I'm with.. an I can't see when others like me lol 🤣
I see your point, but I feel your perspective on a relationship might be a tad selfish. The thing that keeps open relationships alive is the joy of seeing the one you love happy. Even if it means someone else is making them happy once in a while too.
Well depends on person i guess, i tend to keep my relationship private and closed.
Exactly. Good you see it being so young. :-)
That's a good way to go about it!
You know, you sound exactly like the homofobes back in the day when it was unheard of dating the same sex. And today most are of acceptance. We're moving forward, accepting more people and their sexuality, gender, lifestyle choices. I get it if you just state "not for me". Cool. Your body. Your life. Your decision. But assuming that all open relationships are based of more sex, you haven't even scratched the surface. Some yes! It's their choice. Some want that emotional connection with more than 1. Some don't expect 1 partner to fulfill every single need (that would be crazy, and part of why there are so many divorces and misrable marriages). Some don't even have sex at all with their partners and that is okay. ( they will be very happy they don't have to force themselves to satisfy the other's needs) Many open relationships are based on a level of honesty and transparency most monogamous couples can even dream of. If anything i feel closer to my husband now than ever because i get to see a part of him that he could never reveal before. Monogamy isn't the answer to everything.
And why do You have to defend it so... To be righteous with/about it? You call me a homophobe and back in the Day... pfffft im twice Your age and seen more Change than you've lived... I wasn't bashing anyone or their relationship ideals? I was simply giving my opinion as to why? open relationships have become more common. But , if anything I've said thus. Far has offended You.. please accept my apology , ! ?
Exactly. Makes no sense. Just more fuck-buddies available. But hey, they will call me judging on them. No, it is just not my type of relationship.
Yes, to most it is. I was approached by a woman being in such a relationship. She really looked like that! And hey, it is just like going to a hooker/prostitute but without the payment attachment.