What does he want from me? What IS this relationship?

I've been in a 'thing' with this guy for about 10 months, even though we knew each other quite a bit longer than that through music we both participated in. I'm just confused because it started out like any other relationship. He took me out on dates, some of which I remember telling him I would have liked, and we got to know each other. Eventually it progressed into a physical relationship, but we didn't get sexual until about 3 months in. He let me know how big he is on straightforward commitment and that he hates sex without attachment. Things started changed maybe after a month or so. He started to get a bit distant. He didn't take me out at all. He never introduced me to his friends or family. In fact, he keeps himself a secret from mine (my sisters found out and he told me to say we're not doing anything anymore). When he visited me, he responded to phone calls with he was 'doing business' or 'with a friend'. I'm never mentioned by name, to my knowledge, and I don't know if it's because he wants to hide me or what.
Later I was having a horrible depressive episode. In my past relationships, I've been cheated on, been the side girl, the friends with benefits and I was afraid that he was doing that to me. I didn't want to think that he did that because he had always been so nice and open, but I was just a mess. It made me cry thinking about it and I actually got up enough courage to ask him if I was girl number 2. His response is what confuses me. He replied, "It's not about numbers." I get the feeling it's just about sex, but he also tells me that if he only wanted sex (he lives about 1 hour away from me), he wouldn't come out to visit me. I have told him about my previous experiences and he's sympathetic, but closed off whenever I ask what he wants from me. Maybe he doesn't know just yet and is stringing me along? He has said before that relationships should come 'organically' but it just makes me confused.
What does he want from me? What IS this relationship?
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