Why is it so hard to get over your first love? How can you?

It's been two freaking years and I'm still not over him. it's driving me nuts because I still care so much and I don't think he gives a damn about me at all. I've tried dating other guys but none of them work out. I hear about the girls he's hooked up with and it hurts so bad.

he even bragged about how he had a "new" kellyanne. same name as me...

it still makes me depressed and I hate him for it.

i don't know what to do? he tried to get back with me past November and screwed me over again.

:( how do I let go?

can we ever be friends? will he ever change his mind? do you think he even cared or might still care about me? we were each others first loves. he obviously broke it off w. me and I don't even know why.

were not talking as of now, haven't been since February I tried and he acted like a jerk.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I know how you feel. I had 11 months of my ex boyfriend coming and going over whether we should get back together again. Every time he did it just further broke my heart and left me more damaged than before. I gave a half arsed attempt at no contact but then he'd suck me back in by texting/emailing/calling-often more than he did when we were in the relationship.

    I held on, thinking it must only be a matter of time. Why would he spend so much time and effort talking to me if he didn't want me back?

    Anyway, to cut a VERY long story short, he tried to get back together with me in January, I was over the moon everything was great and we started planning meeting up and doing things. Two weeks later, he'd changed his mind again. This time it was different, I wasn't totally upset. I was FURIOUS. I'd wasted almost a YEAR of my life waiting for him to come to his senses and in that period had become a person who bore no relation to the girl I was before. I wasn't even someone I liked- which as we all know 'you've got to love yourself first for someone to love you' blah blah blah.

    At first I just waited for him to text me- but with a different angle than before, I didn't care if we got back together this time. And text me he did. Every day to every other day. At first I responded but then he'd been gone a week and I had no emotional reaction to our lack of contact. I deleted everything he'd ever sent me and I was SO relieved. It's only been a few weeks now, but he keeps texting me and I just keep on deleting them.

    Anyway- if you got to the end of that you deserve a medal, but the point of that is he was my first love, I thought we were going to get married and have babies and all the fairytale stuff you associate with your first love. He treated me like sh*t and I STILL had my rose coloured glasses on. BUT there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I can't predict when, or how for you but it is there. You just have to come to the realisation on your own that you are worth better than him and all the pain he's put and is still putting you through.

    If you need to talk at all feel free to IM me.

    • thank you, it's comforting knowing I'm not alone out there. I hate the games exes play. we are living creatures with feelings and I feel like they forget that -_-

    • Indeed! My ex at one point was completely oblivious to the fact I still had feelings for him so he'd be talking like things were all normal and I'd go home and cry myself to sleep. I never really get how people can be so unaware of these things- though I'm sure I've done the same.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 8

  • why would you wanna be his friend after he rubs your nose in his "success". tell him to f*** off and get on with your life.

  • He's acting immaturely by bragging about his new girlfriend.

    Some people never get over a first love. You can think on the good times and consciously put him in a box in your mind. Then, when you want to, open the box. Or close it. Whatever...

  • I'm sorry for what happened, the same thing happened to me too. Now that I'm much over it, I feel better. You may want to write the positive and negative of the relationship you had with him, and then write out how you can improve from your negative and make it better with your positive with your NEXT relationship. There is no point looking back to the past, even if you guys get back together, the feeling wouldn't be the same, and if you were to be friends, you will never let him go. I hope you could make a sensible decision and move on with life. Patching things up with an ex-boyfriend especially when he's acting like a jerk is not worth it. You're young, there's so many other guys waiting to court you. Trust me, I looked at your picture and you looked really good, so don't worry about it irishgirl21 !

  • Never really understood why people get like that. When it's over, it's over, no point hanging on. Especially if you're making yourself miserable over him. You should just wash your hands of the guy.

  • OMG that guy is a dipsh*t. 2 years that's terrible =(. "New Kellyanne" that is so cruel. It f***ing sucks how people have that kind of power over you! Grrrrrr f***! Sooo wish I could punch his f***ing manwhore face!

  • stop talking to him

    love = chemicals in brain. addictive chems. you don't drop a heroin addiction by shooting up the needle once every few weeks right?

  • Why girls love jerks is beyond me. Good luck with that.

  • You are a big silly head. You keep asking this question formed differently and I answered you last time!

    • lol well I don't remember. and it keeps bothering me.

    • Ughh to be honest I was thinking about my first love today to. What's up with that? must be something in the water

    • -_- must be :/

What Girls Said 2

  • hi,

    i know how that works personally its depressing and it just makes you nuts.

    the easiest way to get over with your past is by doing what you really like to do.

    do things that make you happy. right now you might be like hanging out with friends and when your idle you sit and cry am I right?

    so don't sit idle do stuff you like to do.

    i know I dated people after my relationship all I do is now date and break up because it doesn't works for me. there is nothing bad in being single.

    u get almost the best of both world lol.

    and if still you have some questions then message me anytime if you need a friend or something you wanna share feel free to msg.

    i will get bk to you as soon as I can.

    take care

    hope you feel better :)

  • I completely know the feeling and it is hard, but in all honesty I think it would be so much harder to continue to be friends with him.. just because you have to hear about all the girls he is hooking up with etc. and that hurts. I think its fine to be on speaking terms with him but it would be too hard to be close friends. Good luck hun

Loading... ;