I made a huge mistake, how do I make it up to my crush?

Anonymous
So basically, i am a 17 year old guy. Since a few months i've met this girl. We ended up becoming really good friends. And almost even more. I find it hard to say, but i love her. I have a very bad past with girls. Actually i have never respected them. I always thought all of them were wh*res, especially after my first girlfriend ever cheated on me. Big trust issues have been created. Since that moment i kinda hooked up with every girl i see. It's okay to call me a 'player'. Yes i have broken many hearts. I didn't care at all. It was fun for me, a nice game.

But then i met this girl. She didn't got my attention at first. Until she came into my class, since she was new at school. I know this sounds like a cliché book lmao. After a while the teacher decided to put her next to me in class. Because i was 'loud with my friends'. Anyways we kinda fell in love. I first pushed her away, because i don't like it when people get close to me. But i already had caught feelings. So when we both were at a party i got pretty jealous when another guy started talking to her and being flirty. Yea i punched him when he started touching her and she said stop.

Anywayssss, everything went great until other people noticed that we were getting close. Everyone started warning her and telling her i am just playing her. But i am not! I mean at first i was, but not anymore for a long time already. She kept being suspicious and didn't really trust me too much. When she finally started trusting me, something happened. She started asking me questions and i fell back into my old behavior. Not being a player, but having a wall around me. So i was pretty rude to her. She got mad and it ended up in a big fight. I went home and to a party that night. I got pretty drunk and kissed another girl. It didn't feel right, that's why i pushed her away. she was there too and saw it. She started crying and ran away. I really f*cked up.

I feel bad and don't even want someone else. How do i make it up to her?
I made a huge mistake, how do I make it up to my crush?
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