My crush told me he’s serious about not wanting to be in a relationship, but still wants to hang out. what does that mean?

Question

My crush and i finally talked. it was mostly me snapping him in the beginning, but he eventually snapped me back. We were kind of flirting over snapchat which eventually lead to him telling me we should hang out. Yesterday i jokingly told him i expected him to pick me up from the airport within 5 mins (just got home from vacation) and he said “shit dont think ill make it” and then sent a snap of him half naked in his bed. i send him a snap saying “jk xoxo” and then suddenly he starts typing for like a minute, so i kinda got nervous. He literally said “listen, i’m not looking for a relationship, i dont know if you are, but i want you to know i’m not. I think you’re such a nice girl and i really want to hang out with you, but i want you to know i’m serious about this. if that’s not what you're looking for then sorry, but if it is then i want you to know this” so i responded with “Noo im not looking for a relationship, even if i were, we should hang out more often to know if i really like you or not, because we aren't that close. but if we’re being honest now, i did have a small crush on you and i do enjoy talking to you” and then he said “i really love talking to you too & i think it’s sweet what you’re saying, but i want you to know i’m serious about not being wanting to be in a relationship. Lets hang out soon though. plus, the reason i broke up with my ex is because i dont want to be in a relationship, because i can’t handle it. i do still love her though”

so like, i know it’s straight up what he’s saying, but i’m still so confused. why would he want to hang out with me? is it just to have sex?

Answer 1

btbc92

Influencer

He wants to be your FRIEND FIRST BEFORE pursuing a relationship. He is saying he wants to take it slow and see if you two are compatible and he doesn't want to rush and God forbid end up hurting each other. He is doing the right thing. this has 0 to do with sex. If he wanted sex, he would have suggested a hookup or friends with benefits. Plus, he is getting over his ex and he needs to heal. So you and he should talk further about what you two really want out of this friendship. If you're not about waiting and want to date now, find somebody else, but at least respect his wishes and don't compromise your values. Glad there are still guys like him around. At least this guy is respectful. Not a lot of guys like that anymore.

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Answer 2

yucychan | 460 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

I think it's quite straightforward what he is saying.
He just wants to stay as friends with you. Whether if it will be a friends with benefits situation is still undecided, and I guess it depends on the both of you if you two want it or not.
My advice, step back and decide what is it you want. If it's an exclusive relationship you desire, then please let him know.
Please don't agree to a friends with benefits situation with the expectations that he will change and fall in love with you in the future. Don't wait for someone whose heart is not with you in the first place.

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Answer 3

Anonymous

Yeah he wants sex. It’s obvious when he says he doesn’t want a relationship but let’s ‘hang out’. He wants to hang out so something happens between you two but with no strings attached. Because if something does happen he knows it’s not going to be he’s fault and you can’t blame him say he’s a player, fuckboy because he told you he doesn’t want a relationship, so basically will blame you and you’ll get hurt. Guys and girls don’t just hang out for no reason.

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Asker

1 y
i guess that makes sense, but at the same time i doubt he’s willing to hurt me. i think he’d rather avoid hurting me. Also, he asked me twice already to hang out sometime soon, but he hasn't set a date yet, does that mean i have to wait or suggest something myself?
Opinion Owner

1 y
That’s what happens. Girls believe that a certain guy won’t hurt them and then after they get what they want they leave and you end up confused and hurt and he’s an asshole. Wait for him to set a date don’t sound so interested and desperate to hang out. If you do end up hanging out though something is definitely going to happen and not in a good way, but if you just want to hook up with him then that’s fine but you should be clear with him that you two are just hanging out as friends you’re not looking for anything more. As you said you want a relationship and he doesn’t.
Opinion Owner

1 y
As well as he knows you have a crush on him now so he thinks he can easily change your mind and get what he wants and make a move on you

Answer 4

Asker

i guess that makes sense, but at the same time i doubt he’s willing to hurt me. i think he’d rather avoid hurting me. Also, he asked me twice already to hang out sometime soon, but he hasn't set a date yet, does that mean i have to wait or suggest something myself?

Answer 5

Opinion Owner

That’s what happens. Girls believe that a certain guy won’t hurt them and then after they get what they want they leave and you end up confused and hurt and he’s an asshole. Wait for him to set a date don’t sound so interested and desperate to hang out. If you do end up hanging out though something is definitely going to happen and not in a good way, but if you just want to hook up with him then that’s fine but you should be clear with him that you two are just hanging out as friends you’re not looking for anything more. As you said you want a relationship and he doesn’t.

Answer 6

Opinion Owner

As well as he knows you have a crush on him now so he thinks he can easily change your mind and get what he wants and make a move on you

Answer 7

djcrazyjay20

Xper 1

He wants to smash

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1 Person

My crush told me he’s serious about not wanting to be in a relationship, but still wants to hang out. what does that mean?

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