It was a fight against another guy that had been causing problems. Yes she was there
It is an update from a couple of other questions. My wife had gave another guy at the gym a massage. He kept causing problems and it came to blows
yeah thanks i now realize that... anyway it seems to me your wife was to blame and you took your frustration out on him which to be fair is probably what she was doing... really though this is a problem you need to sit down and discuss calmly with her rather than lashing out at the guy who may well report you for assault
Good point. You think she wanted me to direct my anger towards him?
i doubt it though she maybe wanted to know it angered you just to know that you do actually care about her
She didn’t try to diffuse the actual fight, so wasn’t sure
in that case she saw it as deflecting the attention from her own actions in such a way it now seems like she played both of you
Your probably right! I admit I was mad about the situation and felt the fight was justified
well hopefully he won't go to the police... so anyway what is your wife saying about it all? i mean was it a cry for attention or does she think the whole marriage is maybe past its sell by date?
He won’t go to the police. He won the fight, which is embarrassing! What is she saying about the fight? Or her actions leading to the fight?
her actions leading up to the fight and the reason he didn't fight back is because he knew he was wrong in his part of the tale
He did fight back! He won the fight. Her actions did lead to the tension
ok so lets forget about the fight because you are missing what im getting at... i want to know what she is saying about the whole thing so i might be able to help you move forward without the risk of this all happening again
She tells me she feels bad about what she did! But she did do it, and women always do it for a reason
yeah so what reason is she giving? unless you get to the truth of that then you can't trust it won't happen again
She admitted they had been flirting and she started liking it. Then he was complaining one day about a sore back. My wife offered him a massage
and so the excitement took over? i guess if thats true you can hopefully forgive her and move on but you must make it clear if she feels she is lacking excitement in future she is to come to you first or she might just think you accept it
Good point. I am really having a tough time dealing with the massage! She has been open about it and honest
well its a good sign she has been open and honest... its very important that she is. so how far did the massage go and what made he not go all the way? i mean if it was little more than an actual massage it was really about nothing more than a quick thrill i guess
I appreciate the honesty, but it is hurtful too! She said it was a sexy massage. She started on his sore back (poor baby)... rrrrr. Then proceeded to a full body massage
So full body. Yeah I was pissed!
and is she full of remorse? do you think you will get over it in time? if either answer is no you may be better to split up now as it will eat away for ages if you let it
Time heals all wounds, so yes I think so. But she admitted she enjoyed the massage. What do you think she meant by that?
you need to ask her what she meant... you can't leave any of this to guesswork or rely on what someone on the internet says... you need to know all that happened and why and how she felt
Sorry, I was asking your opinion. I know exactly what she meant by it. I also know everything she did during the massage It wasn’t good
nah i can't imagine it was easy to listen to as she told you... anyway my point really is that its you that needs to do some serious thinking about how you personally feel now... and whether or not you can see a future with her...
I definitely see a future and want to work it out. You are so right. Hearing her describe the massage. She estimated it was a 90 minute massage
and she enjoyed it you said but did she say why she enjoyed it? i mean was one reason perhaps that she feels the excitement has gone from your marriage and if so i hope you know you will need to address that to make it work out in the future
Great question. Yes she said he had a great body, as good as mine. Yes it was thrilling and a turn on for her she said. She referred to it as very sexy
and did you ask her how she might feel if you did something like that with another woman?
I most certainly did. My gym assistant Brooke is really hot. Maybe I shouldn’t have but I said “ what if I massaged her tits & ass. She didn’t like it!!!
well at least she must then appreciate how her actions made you feel
I hope! I asked her how much time she spent on his...
Thanks for your input this morning. I had a long talk with my wife. Left no stone unturned
ah thats good and i hope you can now both move forward with a clearer view
I guess so. Still really bothers me
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I felt the fight was justified.
Well, I agree that some people do deserve a good smacking. Even if it will not solve the problems at hand, justice sometimes is a value in itself. ;P
Well said! Problem is he fought back. Got pretty bad actually
Well, you cannot win too much either. Maybe him having fought back saved you a lawsuit. Beating that guy to the ICU might have been pleasant but probably also result in legal repercussions / cost...The energy is probably better invested in making a sane decision about the future of your marriage. After all, it probably could have been any guy, not just him...
Well, no it was him! He pursued my wife for sometime, I just wasn’t aware of it!
Ah, ok! Well - Should be fixed then. I do not think he will risk another fight after you confronted him. Those guys usually prefer easy prey - at least that is what if have witnessed / been told by friends who had such trouble. I think you should stay vigilant for a while but if the next two months or so nothing happens you can probably relax about it.
He probably wouldn’t avoid another fight. This one went his unfortunately
Hm. - Does your wife feel threatened by him?
If she does not feel threatened, I would just wait and see what happens. And care for your wife to show her you are a good provider. She will eventually loathe that other guy, if things work out well. If he then still keeps stalking her he will be in criminal territory and you can have the authorities take care of him.I personally do not like physical fights as they can escalate really badly - I mean, you cannot be sure what kind of lunatic you are dealing with. Especially in a country with millions of guys, I would rather try to set him up for something so you can call the cops and let them do the dirty work.If you win a fight too clearly you may be charged with inflicting bodily harm, if you do not win you have put yourself at risk without any gain.
I agree, but what’s done is done. The fight did get bad and drew a crowd
It was a competitive fight. He got the best of me in the end
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