My partner wants to have kids and I don’t?

victoriaxoxo
I just moved in to live with my boyfriend whom I have known for 4 years. I discovered that he is quite keen on having children. He’s 8 years my senior, has a stable job and thinks a family would be the next logical step. I see the grand plan that some people, including himself, try to follow but I disagree that having kids is necessary for a happy & fulfilling life.

He also has no experience in raising kids. He never even had to babysit a child. I spend most of my teenage years looking after my younger sibling who is 11 years younger than me. I was there for every hospital appointment, every parent’s evening, every birthday, every bad dream. I taught him how to walk, talk and even wipe his bottom. So I’d like to think that I know what it is like to raise a child. Yet he seems to be hyper existed to have kids. He is willing to quit his job and be the primary parent. He thinks babies are adorable 100% of the time. Whenever I come up with a hypothetical scenario of how a baby would act, he responds with unrealistic ideas like ‘oh I would just train him to do x and y at those times of the day’ and it’s like no you won’t, he’s 2, he just won’t listen to you...

The other bad thing is that he wants to have kids ‘naturally’. Adoption is not something he’d prefer. I discussed the possibility of adopting if he still wants a child by age 40 but although he agreed to it, he said he’d prefer if I give birth instead because he wants the child to be ‘his own blood’ so he can ‘leave something behind’. I am obviously sceptical; we are both average people with average looks, personalities and intelligence. I don’t know why it is so crucial to ensure that that gets passed on to the next generation.

Finally the worst is that he agreed to maybe forfeit having kids or adopt instead but he is the kind of person who goes back on his words. So I’m genuinely scared that if I don’t conceive, he would either leave or cheat leaving me between a rock and a hard place at age 40...
My partner wants to have kids and I don’t?
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