Lost love, depression?

Batkoo0
Hello people. This is not exactly a question, more like I want to share it with someone, even tho we are strangers. I had a girlfriend, we lived together for years and I proposed to her, she became my fiance. We even had a date for the wedding, I was giving my all to try and make her happy, I was really caring. But some things happened, then she left me and I find out there was an other man. Since then, I am devasted, totally broken, damaged. I completely ruined my life, starting drinking much, started gambling, I just wasn't thinking anymore. I was really empty and didn't wanted to live. Even though about suicide couple of times, but didn't have the courage to do it. She left me 3 years ago, since then she dated 3 men. Half a year ago she was with one and today she is married to another. I mean I know that life goes on and I need to get better, I need to find new stimul for living, but I just can't seem to do it. I was starting to get better, but right now again I am really sad, broken, alone and completely in depression. So if anyone has been through this and have any advice to share, welcome. I am sorry for the mess this question is, but I am a total mess too..
Lost love, depression?
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