I have had this deep bond and connection to my first love since we were teens. I am in my 30s and I still struggle with my feelings for her. It has affected my relationships I've tried to have to be happy. But I still dream of her and can't stop believing in her. I compare others to her and. Looks to feel that deep love for someone else and when it doesn't happen I get depressed. I have been hit by a car to protect her and I think maybe I have a wall that is up because of how I feel that prevents me from getting that close to feel that same way about anyone else. I reached the point of being alone coz I feel it isn't fair or right to anyone else for me to date until I can move on. She is engraved into who I am. One of those people that walk into our lives and change them from who we were to who we are now. I know there are others out there that are more attractive by standards but I don't care. I have been with someone else and even got married but after being cheated on a number of times I am like what is the point. Just be in love with my first love and be alone.
I am not married to anyone
Anymore after I was cheated on a number of times