How do you stand up to someone you love?

Anonymous
i think one of the major issues from my last relationship was that my ex boyfriend was careless for how he handled our relationship. I thought about it last night and even made a voice diary entry in my phone and was able to talk and get my feelings out. As I talked, I realized that throughout the relationship with him I tried to keep the peace to the extent of allowing many issues to go unaddressed in an effort not to push him away because I genuinely wanted him to be a part of my life. The times where I would react or punish him for doing things I didn’t like would lead to fights, misunderstandings, and even us breaking up. I think I internalized that it was a lose-lose because if I didn’t speak up for myself he would walk all over me. But every time I did stand up to him he would pull away from me. One day he gave me an emotional apology for how he had been mistreating me, and it prompted me to gain a small bit of confidence that if he was admitting to being wrong then that meant that I was right to be upset, and that even without me addressing it he still KNEW he was wrong to treat me “poorly” as he admitted. It took more time for me to finally leave him and I did so out of thinking I can do bad all by myself and if I drag him down/burden him so much with the things that I wanted (leading to me being pushed away whenever I addressed those issues) then we were only hurting by staying together. I had no intention of giving him an ultimatum when I left but he eventually tried to bargain with me and offer to change his ways to get back together. Sadly, the chance I gave him was short lived and it was all very pointless because he hurt me more with some inconsiderate actions later down the line. I always considered my lack of “nagging” to be for him. However, there were times that I would get fed up and have a drastic response to random offenses. So how do you stand up to someone you love?
How do you stand up to someone you love?
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