So I should keep texting first as long as he replies back and seem engaged in the conversation?
Have u experienced that (guy not initiating contact)?
You do not have to be a man just to know what that feels like. It has nothing to do with gender. Has nothing to do with what you're implying. It has to do with learning to observe people around you, have self-awareness, and take interest in people.Just looked at the two main things I just said.Have you not experience low self-esteem before? If so what do you do when you have low self-esteem? Have you ever had trust issues from anybody before? How do you react when you have trust issues? Often times we tend to be the very people who we attract. If he's not initiating contact that's his personal business. He may be busy. He may be doing other things. He may be tired. Probably stressed and doesn't want to give you negative problems. Or he just may not want to talk right now. You won't know unless you personally asked him. At the same time nobody has to initiate contact if they don't want to. It doesn't mean you're not interested in a person. It just made me that they just don't want to. Does a person have to initiate contact? If so, did you need to communicate that firmly. But instead of assuming you need to ask him. And most importantly you got to think about what is your intentions for being involved with that person which is key. Because if he has that going on, he's going to want to know why you bothering. And if you don't even know that makes his problems worse.I know it does for me. Because I experienced a lot of disappointments in my life from people. And now I can barely even trust guys on that level myself and I never dated ever. If that person refuses to come clean then that's when you need to move on especially if they made it specifically clear that they want to see you in that way. However if a person has never verbally communicated that they see you in that way or want to, then you are either having unrealistic expectations, creating fantasies in your head, or you're wasting time.
Always get answers. Never assume don't look for signs remember that nobody is a mind reader. You want something happen you got to make it happen. I have seen so many men and women make this very mistake. Because they verbally don't communicate with the heck they want and they just assume, we all these so-called advice columns and hearing all these mixed messages when they are not being taught how to communicate. If you want to get to know a person you have to communicate do you not? So why are you not communicating with him? The questions that you are asking us all the very question you need to ask him. The real question is. Did you tell him that you are interested in a romantic relationship with him and wants to start a relationship and date? Because if you did not then fault is left on you and not him. Therefore he's innocent. I have so many immature guys getting mad at me because they claimed they were showing signs of interest in me when they never even told me what the heck they wanted. You got to build connection and a friendship with a person. People who do that stuff 10 to have self-serving attitudes and an often end up with great disappointments because they did not first see if:
(1) Did the person had any interest in dating at all. ( this means anybody unless they're celibate, or supposedly asexual) this is not hard to find out because they often talk about their desire for dating. If the person doesn't want to date or have any interest in relationships or is not interested in a relationship right now. That's an automatically tell you that it's a no-go. Unless you just want to express that you would like to if they are open in the future.(2) did they verbally Express that they want to date YOU? Or are you assuming your outings, body language and communication is a desire for you? Here's the problem with that. It is often manipulative if it wasn't already not something that they would have wanted to do. Remember that seduction is manipulation. So if you're flirting you're seducing. If you're seducing you're manipulating. 3) do you take offense if a person simply says that they're trying to be a friend or is just being friendly or nice? That may be a sign that you're not only liking love for yourself but that you don't appreciate natural love as it is. Most people say they want love but they rejected when it's not what they want.Put it like this. If you hate being led on. If you hate games. If you hate manipulation tactics. Stop doing it yourself to other people. You get what you put out. So if you're not receiving the communication that you want it means you're not communicating properly. Because anybody in their right mind can tell when they're feelings, emotions, respect, Etc is not being reciprocated. Figure out why you don't feel reciprocated and then you'll be able to solve your problem.
Plenty of times both men and women who are my friends sometimes don't initiate contact. But at the same time I too at times don't initiate contact. See how that goes? As an introvert, as much of a feeler and sensitive I am, I don't necessarily need as much external contact as other people. That's because I had to learn to respect Solitude as well as learn to respect the desires of others. Now whether I settle for less, poor relationships excetera is my personal business. But one thing I do know for sure. I know better than not to let anybody take me for granted the same way I would never take somebody else for granted. And unless a person has a legitimate excuse, you have two ways to go about this. Either that person is just a player. All that person may be struggling with a mental illness or problem and instead of a relationship they need counseling and professional help. And oftentimes the people that you're describing are usually those who are struggling with some type of mental problem. And do need help. They don't need a relationship. A friend, absolutely. An intimate relationship that can greatly impact them psychologically and God forbid make them worse and potentially abuse you unintentionally, well, you decide if you want to deal with that potential trauma. But I must warn you. You can't blame nobody else but yourself if you choose to accept that.
Just remember that he is not perfect just like you're not perfect. Get to know him more and then make your decision if that's what you want. But if that's not what you're looking for in a man then you better off investing somewhere else. But at least try to be his friend if you know he's a good guy. Unless he just proven himself to not be healthy where he just deliberately hurts people, then that's where you have to think for yourself and let it go.
He's probably also scared to commit because the last few people he probably showed interest in they did not give him a positive experience. So he may want to avoid that unless he is certain that he can handle that relationship. He probably may not even believe in himself for a relationship. So unless you really care about this guy, don't pretend like you do if you're just on a superficial love on yourself. Because now he doesn't need to get hurt if that's the case. At the end of the day just respect him. But don't forget to respect yourself. As long as he's okay with that, then you're free to move on.
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He's attractive guy and many girls are after him But he used to be shy when talking to me in person. So I don't know.
Well, in that case, I would assume the later.
U think he's texting with someone?
It is likely.
Even if the girl has messaged him already few times first?
Yes. That isn’t the case with all guys, but is the case with me. Maybe give him some more time or just ask him out, that’s a direct way to see if he likes you. You don’t have to wait for the guy to do it.
Are u a really shy guy?
Yeah, I'm very shy. I will usually make a move to initiate if it's been a few days since we've talked though. I'll overcome my shyness to make sure we keep talking.
My crush hasn't done that :(
Hmm. Maybe just let it go then, unfortunately. Don’t worry about it though, sometimes it just doesn’t work out, doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.
by the way here’s more info:I’ve replied few times to my crush instagram stories but he hasn’t done the same back to me altough he watches eagerly my stories. Our conversations have been very friendly and he has replied back to me promptly ( he’s replies are decent, he used a lot emojis and he likes/ heart reacts my texts). One time he even wrote me long paragraphs and also he one time sent me a short disappearing video. He’s responsive ehen I contact him but he doesn’t contact me first.I don't know what to do. Should I just give up on him?
Ask him. If my crush asked me why I didn't text first I would just tell her the truth that I'm nervous.
I will do that. I've actually stopped messaging him. Wr havr9talled for a long time now. Do u think he would think that I don't like him anymore and/or be upset? How would u act on similar situation?
I would pick the conversation back up like nothing happened, but I'm pretty easy going lmao
He actually seemed to like to talk to me...
He liked talking to you or he liked listening to you? Because those are very different.
He's responsed were actually longer than mine lol so I guess liked talking to me...
I actually stopped messaging him first and now se haven't talked for a long time. Tbh he had reach oyt to me 3 times when he had really good excuse but our conversations died out after 3 texts lol. I think it's hard for him to keep conversation going or it seems like...
Why do u think so?
no experience with girls other than porn
Even if he's shy and introverted?
I'm so sorry, you reached out several times. It could be 2 things. First even when you log off these dating Sites they keep your picture up for business. More people the better to them and you agree to this in the beginning. It could very well be you're texting someone on the site that is not even on the site. MATCH is Famous for that. Have the profiles are of people who can't respond. Only other option is he's not interested but I would guess #1 your texting a Ghost !
The thing is when I message him he always responds to my texts and promptly too. He seemed happy to talk to me. Only proplem is that he doesn't text first.
Ok text him and say nicely. I noticed I'm always texting you and you never text me first. Explain that you're looking for a 2 way street and you would really appreciate if he texted you from time to time. Say this makes me feel unwanted so if it can't change no matter how much I like you I will find someone who makes me feel wanted. Either he will change or not text you at all. Make good choices. It's not easy and yes it hurts but you will be better off in the long run ! Be sweet !!
Have u ever done that?
I don't think I've had a girl reach out, so I've never been in that situation. But of course there's going to be people like that.
Even if the gyy is shy/introverted?