I'm not physically attracted to my boyfriend but I'm emotionally attached to him... Tips?

Question

I know it's a weird question, and it may appear shallow, but the truth Is another one: i've been with my boyfriend since a pair of months (se were friends before, but he was attracted to me). At first he fell in love with me but i wasn't aesthetically and sexually attracted to him. Then, After a few months, sharing our daily Life, emotions, projects and so on... I started to feel a deep emotional connection and we ended to make sex. Since then, we are engaged... I still feel that connection, even more actually, but there Isn't that pulsional fascination about him. I mean, I don't find him attractive, but I'm attached to him and enjoy the sensual stuff. The idea to leave him Is terrible to me tho. What if it's Just dependence?

Love can be without aesthetical attraction

Love can't be without aesthetical attraction

Select age and gender to cast your vote:

GirlGuy

Answer 1

caring__1 | 283 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 6

While healthy relationships can exist when physical attraction doesn't, it can be challenging. First off, make sure both understand the lack of attraction and don't pretend attraction exists. Would you be comfortable being in a relationship where your partner found you to be unattractive? It must be something that is openly and honestly discussed and both can see themselves comfortable with this reality long-term. Never assume things will change. The majority of healthy relationships have a physical aspect. How would you feel if you were told you could eat anything you wanted, as long as it wasn't green? When we feel limited from participating in and enjoying an aspect of life, that void can build into significant conflicts. Only each of you as individuals can make the determination whether this is what you want in a lifelong relationship.

Answer 2

MountAverage | 204 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

I highly doubt this will work out in the long run. How do you think would he feel if he knew his own future wife doesn't find him physically/sexually attractive at all?

Asker

1 mo
It Isn't cute, you're right. 😔 We'll see
MountAverage

1 mo
Cute? It is extremely hurtful, depressing, discouraging, rejecting, and generally devastating. Not being "cute" will be the least concern.
Now, you will either keep it secret, building your marriage on a lie, or tell him. Either way, I don't your relationship can go on like this. Sorry.
Asker

1 mo
It was an euphemism, Just to Say.

Answer 3

Asker

It Isn't cute, you're right. 😔 We'll see

Answer 4

MountAverage

Cute? It is extremely hurtful, depressing, discouraging, rejecting, and generally devastating. Not being "cute" will be the least concern.
Now, you will either keep it secret, building your marriage on a lie, or tell him. Either way, I don't your relationship can go on like this. Sorry.

Answer 5

Asker

It was an euphemism, Just to Say.

Answer 6

Hangry22 | 647 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

You don't love him. For most, once you start loving someone, you start to find all their physical attributes attractive.
Maybe you should check if you are the kind who doesn't care about physical attraction in a relationship

Answer 7

Iron_Man | 6.1K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

That’s a real tough one I don’t know What to tell you really why did you get involved in the first place

Asker

1 mo
Right question. Because at First i was also sexually attracted. That's my problem: i tend to confuse emotional attachment with sexual stuff. Before i get the man , i feel attracted even if he doesn't fancy me aesthetically. Then the look thing became worse. I don't want ti appear shallow, i approach feelings in a bad way, maybe
Iron_Man

1 mo
Well what is it that you exactly want to do now?
Asker

1 mo
I want to take time actually. Almost a pair of months. Then, If i feel the loss of something, i'll broke up 😔
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Iron_Man

1 mo
I’m sorry to hear that I wish the best of luck to you
Asker

1 mo
Thanks so much ☺️
Iron_Man

1 mo
You’re very welcome

Answer 8

Asker

Right question. Because at First i was also sexually attracted. That's my problem: i tend to confuse emotional attachment with sexual stuff. Before i get the man , i feel attracted even if he doesn't fancy me aesthetically. Then the look thing became worse. I don't want ti appear shallow, i approach feelings in a bad way, maybe

Answer 9

Iron_Man

Well what is it that you exactly want to do now?

Answer 10

Asker

I want to take time actually. Almost a pair of months. Then, If i feel the loss of something, i'll broke up 😔

Answer 11

Iron_Man

I’m sorry to hear that I wish the best of luck to you

Answer 12

Asker

Thanks so much ☺️

Answer 13

Iron_Man

You’re very welcome

Answer 14

AmeerX | 623 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

I had same feeling for a girl. I was sexually unattracted to her but her presence made me happy for weeks

Answer 15

devil_8888 | 175 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

Well it’s not gonna work out... you got to be emotionally as well as physicallly attracted to your partner to have a good and long lasting relationship...

Asker

1 mo
Maybe you're right. It's a matter of long term. Because now I feel the "problem" but not too much (the problem obv Isn't him or his look, but my subjective perception of his look). I think in the future this Will become harder to face up.

Answer 16

Asker

Maybe you're right. It's a matter of long term. Because now I feel the "problem" but not too much (the problem obv Isn't him or his look, but my subjective perception of his look). I think in the future this Will become harder to face up.

Answer 17

WesBrewer | 311 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 7

you don't need to love how they look to love them.

Answer 18

Whtevernever

Xper 5

Find someone you find hot.

Answer 19

Tea-Spaghetti

Explorer

Well I don't know

I'm not physically attracted to my boyfriend but I'm emotionally attached to him... Tips?

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