Bad Choices or Being Too Kind?

5points2gspot
Lately I’ve been struggling with opening up. For the past few months I’ve really been trying not to let myself become attached to anyone. There was a guy I met online nearly a decade ago where we have talked on & off through out the years. It wasn’t until four years after conversing with him, that he told me he was in prison.
I really don’t want to hear any one’s negative thoughts about why I did continue to pursue any kind of relationship with him. But I did. I’m a human and I was alone, going through a lot in my life and I needed an outlet.
Over time I grew fond of him and he would boost my energies when I need someone to confide in etc.
fast forward to the present.
Most recently as in lets say the beginning of 2020 I did send him assistances to help with canteen and such things. I don’t regret ever helping him cuz it all came from the heart.
But now he has gone & due to his lack of trust I know nothing about him etc. I knew this could happen but what I don’t understand is why he would try to hurt me before he left my life.
For the past two weeks I’ve been trying to focus on my company and we’ve literally have been at peace with each other. Until he caught an attitude and said lots of really nasty things that apparently he felt as though they would hurt me.
In the end what really hurt me was, what he did with being mean & nasty vs just leaving peacefully...
i’m writing cuz I need to vent this out...
I may have made a mistake, but at least in my heart I did what I did with love n good intentions. The true purity that god has bestowed inside of my heart. & although he left without a trace. I can’t say it doesn’t hurt. Cuz it does. When you allow yourself to conversate with one person over a period of months or years consistently. It’s very hard to just move on without filtering all feelings and growing past the pain.
I know what I felt was real. A real friendship.
Even though I didn’t know anything about him.
Bad Choices or Being Too Kind?
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