How do I tell my boyfriend I want a promise ring without sounding clingy?

Question

so my boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and we've started talking about moving in together but dont plan on moving in together for another year and I want a physical representation of commitment before we move in together. How can I tell him I want a promise ring? To clarify he hasn't thought of giving me a promise ring because I never wear rings and rarely will I wear bracelets. I do love to wear necklaces, so usually thats what he'll gift me.

Answer 1

StrikeJam

Xper 5

Ring is a very serious step on the part of a man. If a man gives a girl a ring, this indicates his readiness to marry in the near future. This is a very serious step for a man. And he must come to him on his own. I do not think that the beginning of living together is an equal reason. But if you need some kind of symbol or amulet symbolizing the beginning of a new stage of a relationship, if I were you, I would think about something that both of you will have. For example, the same piercing with some special mark that is meaningful to both of you. well, something like that. You begin serious stages of a relationship when you will do many things together. So let this symbol be common for the two of you. And the main thing is to choose what it will be - together.

Answer 2

JakeS00 | 60 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 5

Talk with him, be serious about how you're feeling. If he's on the same page of wanting to get you one, then I think it'd be okay. I will say the devotion a man needs to do this will really need to be a wise choice he will plan to make a future with his lover. He needs to be ready. That's why most men will pursue that next chapter with some time passed because it needs to be a wholehearted commitment. For me, a year would be too short. At least two years would be when I would consider it. Bracelets or necklaces are definitely okay, I would do that. But not a promise ring just yet. Just how I feel about this. Take it one day at a time.

Answer 3

Anonymous

Honestly, a promise ring is more sentimental than anything. Promises get broken everyday, people breakup, divorce, not to sound gloom and doom but it’s part of life. What I’m saying is, there’s no true way to know what’s going to happen in the future, and a promise ring is not a crystal ball. You could have the ring on while packing your boxes to move out for all you know. What matters in the NOW is that you both are committed to this big step you want to take as a couple, and to me, that is pretty locked in. So why not just enjoy that and let the chips fall as they may, ring or not? If you have doubts big enough to make you need a ring then maybe you should talk about this choice with him again.

Asker

19 d
I know its more sentimental but that is why I want it, nothing id permanent but its the memory of it that I want. Some reason we take pictures, to capture that moment and the feeling involved. Like when you see a picture of your 12th birthday and smile because the memory is good.
Opinion Owner

18 d
I definitely could understand wanting something sentimental to commemorate the moment, but what throws this off is you saying in your post that you want a physical representation of his commitment. To me, this is you saying to your boyfriend that you won’t feel 100% sure of your joined decision unless there is a ring to bind a promise, and promises don’t always hold up. All the ring would be good for is to throw it at him if you guys parted ways, or stare at it once you have it on your finger and still have a nagging voice of concern in the back of your mind. Moving in together is a huge deal, but the fact that he is on board with this step shows he is committed. Why not spend the money he’d use on a pointless (makes you feel secure) ring, on something that could go towards your future with him? $100 ring that’s money towards a vacation, or and new kitchen set, or something better.

Answer 4

Asker

I know its more sentimental but that is why I want it, nothing id permanent but its the memory of it that I want. Some reason we take pictures, to capture that moment and the feeling involved. Like when you see a picture of your 12th birthday and smile because the memory is good.

Answer 5

Opinion Owner

I definitely could understand wanting something sentimental to commemorate the moment, but what throws this off is you saying in your post that you want a physical representation of his commitment. To me, this is you saying to your boyfriend that you won’t feel 100% sure of your joined decision unless there is a ring to bind a promise, and promises don’t always hold up. All the ring would be good for is to throw it at him if you guys parted ways, or stare at it once you have it on your finger and still have a nagging voice of concern in the back of your mind. Moving in together is a huge deal, but the fact that he is on board with this step shows he is committed. Why not spend the money he’d use on a pointless (makes you feel secure) ring, on something that could go towards your future with him? $100 ring that’s money towards a vacation, or and new kitchen set, or something better.

Answer 6

kkirk4442

Xper 5

After a year, it does not sound clingy to ask for a promise ring.

Answer 7

GAGSucksBalls1 | 53 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 5

Isn't that kind of the point though.. I mean, you're basically telling him, "I'm clingy"

You're 18, anyway, you have life to live, you should be dating, not tied down

Answer 8

RHK36 | 332 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Explorer

At your age it's hard for it to not come across as clingy.

Answer 9

Pete671 | 184 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Explorer

Do you know any of his friends that you can say how you feel to? he'll never even think of it himself,

Answer 10

sensible27 | 401 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

Buy one a gift him one

sensible27

19 d
*and goddamit

Answer 11

sensible27

*and goddamit

Answer 12

Hmmmbetternothere

Xper 5

Geez... tell him you think it is time for one.

Answer 13

Iron_Man | 6.1K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

just tell the guy

Answer 14

In_Trance | 1.8K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

You don't

How do I tell my boyfriend I want a promise ring without sounding clingy?

Most Helpful Guys

Most Helpful Girl

What Girls & Guys Said

Related myTakes