
Men and women, what is your biggest fear in a relationship?


- Anonymous1 moBeing cheated on, always was. My ex spent a year lying to me, making out i was paranoid, making me think I was crazy all the while she was cheating on me. I caught her setting another guy, when I picked up our tablet to play music, I left her and she begged me to come back swearing he was just a friend and that she'd never cheat. She acted all sweet to coming up to her sister's wedding so I would look after our kid and pay for the hotel, wedding gift, drinks, activities etc then ignored me the entire weekend. She used my parents who babysat our kid while she was at work, coming back 2-3 hours late 3 or 4 times a day with lame excuses. She got a bar job and would come home at 9 in the morning. Even after I caught him giving our car a jumping start on a Sunday morning she still swore that she wasn't cheating. It was only after she caught an std that she admitted it. She then tried to tell me it wasn't this guy she was cheating with throwing two other guys under the bus, I caught her at his house one morning and she lied insisting she slept on his couch that night, then later in the day after coming home from a day out with my kid where she was getting ready for her bar job. I knew who this guy is and he's a sleaze that hangs around schools trying to pick school girls up, he used to hang around nightclubs giving drunk chicks rides home so he could have sex with them, says a lot of sleazy things on Facebook, secretly videos women so he can show his friends and has broke up marriages before even of friends. Last year his daughter who he had abandoned at birth and could only see under supervision in a daycare centre (until he gave it up until she was 15) was raped in house while he watched football as he allowed her to have and older man she met on the Internet to go up into the bedroom with her. When she confessed what happened he hit the roof calling her a slut and blaming her for dressing like a slut, preventing her from going to the police then leaving her to go to work when she tried to commit suicide.
My ex has promised me that she'd keep this sleaze bag away from our child but has lied and has admitted to the social workers that she had him in his house last year while she was cheating on me.0|00|0Is this still revelant?- Opinion Owner1 mo
Why are the social workers involved? Because it turned out that last year on top of cheating on me she was abusing our kid, she did it in front of me last year during Christmas holidays when I explained that I'd help with the child but wouldn't go back to her because she cheated on me. He threw her phone across the room because youtube stopped working (she has a habit of giving her phone as a pacifier despite at least 6 phones, 3 tablets, a laptop getting broke) so she charged across the room and hit him twice so hard she knocked him to the ground and then started kicking him, I had to drag him off her and while comforting our child she was still trying to hit him. I settled both of them down and took our son away because it was the Weekend. Tried all weekend to get her to see a doctor, I left our son back on Sunday and Couldn't sleep. I asked if she was going to see the doctor and she said no so I called social services and they landed at her house and like a deer in the headlights and the house a dirty mess she admitted everything. She had to have supervised contact with our son for a year with her parents and sister. She moved into her own home and social services are about to walk away. She's continued seeing that sleazy guy and after a year of gaslighting about him finally admitted through her solicitor that she is in a relationship with him but doesn't consider him her partner.
- Opinion Owner1 mo
She was still promising me and social services that she'd keep him away from our sonAt the last social service meeting I threw up a pile of evidence against this guy and that she had this guy around our son in her knew hous and the kid has been sleeping in the same bed as both of them (my son told me) they were disgusted. They admitted I had every reason to be concerned but his police check was clear and she's cooperated with everything so far so all they could do is recommend that she keep him away from our son and never to leave him alone with our son.
We are going to court at the end of January.
Most Helpful Guy
- Oooof... so many
But I'd say my biggest fear in a relationship would be that she'd get bored and cheat on me with multiple guys, only keeping me around for the validation and my resources, until such a time she can discard me into the trash can and move up to a higher earning guy, but not before telling her friends and acquaintances negative things about me, thereby plowing my reputation into the dirt with enough salt to keep me out of new relationships for years.
My biggest fear in dating is that I won't be able to attract the women that I want, and after enough time I won't find any single women my age attractive and that the women I do find attractive will be too young to be interested in me or just too immature for where I'm at in life. I fear like I've already entered this phase. Then, if I do manage to start dating a woman who I find attractive, we'll have nothing in common and she will eventually "ghost" me unexpectedly for other guys, leaving me time and time again starting at square one, getting older and watching my pool get smaller.1|20|0Is this still revelant?
Most Helpful Girls
- Being left in a very vulnerable position OR having other areas of my life being significantly damaged.
Now, shit happens, we can never guarantee a relationship to last forever and ideally of course we want our relationship to last forever. However, sometimes breakups/divorces happen and when it does there is nothing we can do about it.
What I fear though, is being left alone in such a way that I become completely vulnerable without him. Whether it is just being too emotionally invested/dependent on him or maybe financially or with kids... At any position where I'll have a hard time pulling myself back up together and it will affect the quality of my life, education, career etc. Basically having any other trouble than just being sad or heartbroken.
This is one of the reasons why I try to be strong enough on my own and make sure that I don't end up negatively affecting any other part of my life because I broke up. This is the mentality that helped me maintain straight A's in school when I was going through stressful times or even a breakup, keep going the the gym regularly, not compromising how much time I spend with my family and friends... It's easier said than done obviously so if needed I could take things slow, take a break, ask for help/support maybe even seek therapy/counseling. But destroying other areas of my life is NOT an option.0|20|0Is this still revelant? - My biggest fear while dating or getting to know a guy is that he's going to get bored of me or find someone more attractive to pursue.
I mean let's be real here: that happens! You think you're connecting with a person, they like you, everything's going great, or so you think... next thing you know, he ghosts you, stops talking to you as much, or says we should, "Just be friends." You ask him what's up and he's already chasing after another woman :|
My biggest fear while in a relationship is being cheated on. It's happened to me before so of course I'm wary to date again knowing it can happen again.
While I know it wasn't my fault, it still sucks knowing that no matter how much you care about a person, or they supposedly claim they love you, there's a chance they will cheat on you.8|70|0Is this still revelant?Lol same I am quite silent and boring. I talk very less I have not much friends.
I like to be silent and not constantly bombarded, I don't even understand myself so I can't expect others to understand me.
I argue a lot for no reason, perhaps just a habit and it does not have any meaning 😅 I do it to tease or for fun.
I behave very differently with different people.
I also think that the other person will eventually get bored.
I feel like I am chewing gum great taste and feeling at first, but once you stretched me out you will feel plain and would want to spit out 😕 and I would be left alone so better be single till I can afford to be!!!@Aakash_Hangargi Oh gosh, me too! When I'm by myself I'm so quiet and don't talk much- which I'm fine with, but most people would assume I'm boring. But I just like my silence and me time. The problem is, a potential partner might see that as "Oh, they're boring or not interested in me..." and move to someone else they deem as not boring.
But if it's someone of interest or you discuss something I'm passionate about, I won't shut up! LOL.
LOL, that chewing gum reference: that's me! I'm tasty and fun at first, but the longer you talk to me, I lose my "flavor" and it's time to find a new piece of gum.I havex been categorised into two categories because of my deathly silence
1. A guy with attitude, but in reality I just cannot force myself even to say a simple Hi unless I am spoken to first I just try to scoot with out bothering people 😅
2. Very Intellectual, which I am not in two days they will see that I am not intellectual at all I am smart but average.
I just have some savage and smart moments and I almost win all arguments 😂😂😎.
I can confuse people easily.
But only if I had the confidence to handle any situations I would be sonething else, I would be someone else 😂😂😂.- Show All Show Less
@Cynicaldreamer I have a similar problem. She comes to me then soon after she runs off finds someone else whos more attractive then settles down with them.
@Cynicaldreamer last night I was talking to someone we had very good common grounds. Things we're going fine until she ghost me 😐
@scott04sa22 Ouch. Dang it Scott, you have bad luck with dating too, don't you? Did she seem like she was enjoying herself when you were out with her?
But you're right- it seems like certain people have it easier in terms of dating than others
@scott04sa22 yeah. We met over on Facebook dating. The conversation was fine then out of nowhere she just ghosted me. Yeah that's what it looks like easy for others but hard on us. Ugh...
I am quiet and shy so it's hard to talk to someone who I don't really know or think of things to talk about. Like keeping a conversation going on for more than a few minutes or seconds.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!What Girls & Guys Said
3843- Leave/ cheat on me for someone better1|20|0
- ... Being in one ever again !!1|10|0
@courtney06 No bitterness towards you ladies , I have a teen daughter. Women and men are barely compatible , mostly complete opposite needs & wants , which leads to conflict in most cases.
- Not being enough for them1|10|0
- Literally none. My deep fear is God.0|10|0
- Being held hostage by legal contract0|10|0
- Anonymous1 moIn a relationship probably getting bored of them1|10|0
- Anonymous1 moThat he will stop liking me and like someone else.0|10|0
- Anonymous1 moDealing with breaking up if it doesn’t work out1|20|0
- Never being loved.0|10|0
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