My boyfriend cheated on me and now I am so mean to him?

Anonymous
my boyfriend if two years had a night stand while he was drunk. I decided to try and give it another chance. we are not in a relationship but we pretty much act like it. Whenever he says i love you I feel forced to say it back and it doesn’t feel reall anymore whenever he says that i think if what he did. Sometimes I act so mean and rude to him :( I feel so bad after. Am I on the wrong what should i do?
Updates:
16 d
he cheated on me while we were in a relationship of two years he is my ex now thats why im calling him my boyfriend
My boyfriend cheated on me and now I am so mean to him?
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