The woman my husband cheated on me with just got hired at my job. What should I do?

[btbc92]

I think you better tell your boss so that way they can help you find a different place to transfer to. You don't have to disclose any names. But you say you can't work there anymore before they would be a lot of trouble and conflict of interest. To be honest you don't even have to do that much favors. But it's better for your sake than for hers. Because at the same time as much as you don't really know her you don't know her mindset. She could be one of those crazy stack of women that made me think that she has your husband she has every right to do what she wants and God forbid it you may have a murder scene at your job either by the account of you or her to you. You don't want to lose your life literally over that kind of person. You're getting your divorce because of the infidelity that's heartbreaking enough I'm pretty sure you love your husband enough for you to not want to deal with this. But because of the situation you don't need to be in that position. And you don't need to lose your job on account of her. Just ask God to help you. And I asked by the grace of God he keeps you protected.

[nonratracereality]

A tough situation but here are options good or bad but its unfortunate but we need to up our standards of ourself and in turn those that cannot meet your standards they avoid you leaving you with no attitude, issues, drama and shit. Here goes I feel for you it sucks it hurts and the gnawing doesn't go away so you have to be tougher than the situation because you come out on top. First you have some kind of animity she may not know you know unless you were introduced. If not then you have your pride. This happened yesterday today is the first day of the rest of your life so today you will not exude or practice this kind of behavior. As a result you were or are the main and she was the side. If she's not in the picture then she's feeling from the loss and looks at you (sickly) as if you won. No you didn't but that's their perception of the situation. When you're real and smart it comes naturally because it's all about infinite feeling. You feel everything. Now if you know or dont know you ask am I in this situation voluntarily or do I want this merry go round to keep going? Answer the question then proceed. I use invertology. What it is, it isn't , and what it isn't, is what it is. If you're supposed to feel uncomfortable because of her presence become opposite you couldnt give a damm cause you have nothing to do or accomplish with her and as a result by you not feeling is going to make her feel like crap. Always remember everybody feels just maybe not the way or intensity that you do. My motto for life it works. Life in 4 words. LIVE. Ok next. ACCEPT. Got that now and the last. AND UNDERSTAND. Simple. Love you, take care of you and be real. Guarantee after awhile life is work and they will not want to keep up with you because it's not worth it to them and requires energy. Your positive energy. Hope this helps I'm the male most women want but dont know how to cross my path. Be safe ne well be loved and be.

[Bananaman177]

I feel sad for you that you think your husband cheating has something to do with the loss of your son.

That might have been a convenient excuse for him, but he would have done the same thing regardless.

As for the bitch, don't go to your boss, don't go to HR, because YOU will be seen as the one causing a problem and they'll get rid of you and replace you in two seconds with someone who doesn't have a problem.

I don't think there's anything you really can do except maybe have a private word with any of your co-workers that you trust and respect. But I wouldn't even hold out the hope that any of them would care enough to make her feel unwelcome so she leaves.

Most people are totally desperate right now, barely making ends meet and a lot of people AREN'T making ends meet, they're drowning and no one cares. People who have a job right now are not going to risk it for anything, so don't expect your co-workers to rally around your little cause just because it's a good one. Our whole society is in the process of collapsing and everybody knows it.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the place you work. In most places I know HR don't care. They always say separate your personal life from your work life. Best thing to do is ignore her as much as you can... treat her as if you don't see her, like she don't exist. Don't carry the stuff on your mind, you don't have to forgive her but let it go to free your own mind.

If you still don't feel comfortable regardless you can always find a new job. I know y'all were going through stuffs but your ex-husband to be used ur son as an excuse. And thats an insult. He would have cheated when he wanted to regardless.

[jennifer_bloom]

Tell the boss this woman slept with your husband and came to your job to harass you - it will get her fired

[Paris13]

Change and Rearrange... Your Life. Good Luck. xx

[BigHomieNasty]

A lot of the other answers to this are ridiculous.


First, you are not wrong for being upset. I applaud you for taking a moment to reconsider before acting on impulse. Your husband betrayed you, and his codefendant works at your job or job you are interested in. This is a tricky situation.


First I recommend that you take a second and decide what it is that you really want. Do you want revenge on the girl? Do you want justice from the girl? Do you want her to acknowledge your pain? Take a second and ask yourself all of these questions and be truthful to yourself. They are no wrong answers to any of these questions.


I would want you to focus some time on treating yourself and healing. That time would probably be best spent without this girl around. How much does this job mean to you?


Let me know how you feel about all of these things, and I will work with you gladly to help you to come to a conclusion.


Send me a follow and if you would like a DM if You are more comfortable speaking in private. There will be no judgment on you when speaking to me. I look forward to hearing from you shortly.

[hahahmm]

I wouldn't involve the boss in a personal dispute like that. You're just going to be feeding the rumor mill at work because the boss will tell somebody. Plus that other woman could then lie and accuse you of being hostile. Nobody will believe you weren't.

Confront her? Maybe he told her a good sob story about how you died in a plane crash and she had no idea you existed. Or maybe he lied and said he was in an open marriage and you don't care. If she sees your last name she may know who you are. Then again maybe she won't think you're related to the same guy she slept with.

Or the other possibility is that she sleeps with most guys. This includes your boss. Might not want to rock that boat till you have a new job lined up.

[guesswhoseback]

Whoa. I’m so sorry. I don’t know all of the background of this but you don’t deserve this.

But I think you should hold your head high and keep working at the job you love. I know this sucks she’s working there. Horrible irony (does she know who you are?). But one interesting twist is maybe you should get to know her husband a bit better (wink wink)

Just kidding. I would get professional advice from a relationship counselor on how to best go about this. Hopefully you won’t run into her often but I can understand the bad gut feeling you have just walking into your building and knowing she’s there.

But she does NOT nor should have any control over your livelihood. Fuck that. If you quit then she literally sabotaged your entire life. And if you want to fight fire with fire you can stay in contact with her husband.

[lightbulb27]

Try to find a positive spin to it and forgive her and make it work at work... I think men/men might be worse due to the machismo issue. nothing you can do about her.

Thank her... she just saved you from 40 years of hell with a guy that cheats?
Punch her in the gut for being a bit$h?
Leave

What do you think right thing to do is?
Definitely worth reflecting on your marriage to see if something was going wrong that allowed this to occur... so can be avoided next time. There's more "pathetic" in our society now... it seems... than quality, so easy to fail with many opportunities and lack of awareness of the risks or lower values projected in society.

[Citizenkirk]

Based on what information you provided, I can see no upside to interacting with her at all. Admittedly, an issue of marriage and being faithful to your spouse is something I'm extremely biased on. I'm not going to comment on that, being that I am of an extremely monogamous nature and attitude toward marriage.
In regards to any ideas you may have about finding closure by talking to this person, I honestly think it's going to have a greater potential to cause more issues than it will solve.

[sheikalana]

Honestly do not quit is not worth it. I know the situation is not easy best thing you can do is keep things strictly professional from the beginning. I would only involve my manager in this situation if the other person bullied or harassed me or did something to harm my job. Good luck and I hope you don't have to interact with her that much.

[Anonymous]

This shit pisses me off sounds like you have out all of the blame the other woman for sleeping with your husband how about confronting your husband and leave the other woman alone how the F do you even know she knew he was married your husband could have lied to her and told her he was single or that he was going through a divorce if you go and confront her or have her fired from the job your nothing but a low life pos also you chose to be desperate and stay with your husband after he cheated on you so leave the woman alone and grow the f up and accept the fact your husband is the one to blame and that

[Aakash_Hangargi]

I have never heard of people in any intution, helping around as you say.

As it is your personal matter and also its difficult to find people to work in Covid situation especially in hospital sector.

And why would someone join that to ruin your life in same hospital does anyone put so much effort that to just being the third wheel earlier amazingly spiteful of her then..

[FakeNIK]

First I'm really sorry.. I can't even imagine what you're going through. Reading this really makes me sad. You don't need to leave your hospital or anything but if hurts way too much I can't say anything.
You're young & I'm sure one day you'll get a good guy who'll truly love & will respect you. Rather than thinking about past move forward work on your passion..

[Anonymous]

You need to learn to be a professional and leave outside drama outside the work place. Your emotions have no place in a work environment, especially in healthcare. What you (or she) did outside of work does not matter to the workplace. At work, you have a mission and the mission comes first.

[Tstrbrainer]

How about leaving your husband?

Maybe you can leave the job or you can avoid and ignore her presence.
If you want to speak to your boss, just tell him that you have some personal issues with that woman and you won't be able to work with her and ask him to move one of you to a different place. Don't just go on and tell him that she slept with your husband, that's not a good thing.

[Darcia]

Let it go if you can and move on so you don’t have to jeopardize your career and location. But if you can’t and you find it awkward and irritating then find a new location to work and let it go don’t allow it to be new gossip at the new location.

[yucychan]

I feel you should bring it up to HR. If anyone should change department, it should be her. She should be the one to go.
Although it isn't illegal for people to have affairs, it does says much about their ethics and moral values.
I feel your organization needs to look into her performance with scrutiny.

[rjroy3]

Up to you. If I knew they knowingly took part in cheating I'd make it a point to get them fired. Fucked the wrong person's spouse. But that's me.

If I knew they didn't know about me then I'd do my best to deal because they didn't wrong me.

[midnightmoon05]

Try it. If it bothers you, move on if its easy to find another job.
If not, avoid her at all times.
Free from the drama, mess and move on to live your life.

[JKingOff]

You should tell your boss. Explain the situation to him just as you did to us. Maybe he can transfer care to someone else on staff. Worse comes to worse and you end up having to take care of her if you are able to overcome it I'm sure there'll be a reward worth it in the end.

[chriscdi]

if you tell the boss the truth maybe they can figure something out, move her somewhere else or some shit even tho im not a fan of asking for help, you could tho

[MissDawn7961]

sorry about your sons death ! divorce your cheating husband and go on with your life ! thanks

[Not_Average]

Tell your boss. Man that’s a shit situation. Would make the work environment really hostile.

[TacosRAwesome]

Ask to be given the opposite as her if possible. But other than that, don't quit a job just because your new co-worker is a dick.

[JesterRose]

Do the job you where hired to do. Pretty sure revenge and petty grievances (and yes to an employer this is petty) isn't in the job discription.

[Avicenna]

Tell you boss, dovthey know if any problem develops

[EaterPeter]

Why you have to change departments. Only if it makes you happy to change department. New employee should be transferred.

[WesBrewer]

Act as you would to any other coworker, don't treat her any different, unless she does, then treat her how she treats you.

[Anonymous]

I would say just change departments or go work elsewhere.
Spare yourself the pain.
I've been cheated upon. In my case I'm still with my wife.

[Miristheiss]

Inform her husband.
HR may need to know about this... maybe they'll keep you 2 away from each other.

[iseekpinetrees]

Just work as normal. The past is the past. If u dislike your job and want to work elsewhere go for it.

[collie22]

i think that would be hard to handle. i don't know what to say.. hang in there hun

[Unit1]

Why don't you divorce rape your cheating husband and get some of that sweet alimony? You're targeting the wrong path.

[Anonymous]

Stay professional and act as friendly to her as as you need to.

[Anonymous]

id tell boss the truth, you are the innocent one here

[pleasestopthis]

Ignore that bitch, she isn't worth losing a good job you love.

[burlen]

Ignore her. If you can’t, quit the job.

[Anonymous]

What if she slept with him knowing he was married, then what?

[Anonymous]

First find a new job and as soon as your in he door somewhere else Whoop that bitch ass🤷‍♀️ New job is just around the horizon

[Texaskid1]

Try to interact with her as little as possible.

[Iron_Man]

Tell her to step down

[Luckycharms12]

Well fuck me that horrible

[Máiiréad]

Tell your boss your concerns.

[Sabretooth]

then, do you best to let it go.

[fxllenone]

Oh damn! That sounds absolutely brutal.

[gusn77]

Be curtious to her, l. Don't talk to her.

[Fuentes]

She's stalking you trying to become you

[Anonymous]

leave ur husbanD

[JPrez]

Start a catfight.

[anewme]

Wow excellent job

[Anonymous]

you deal with it like an adult

[Anonymous]

Three way after work tonight?

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you go fuck her husband. As pay back.

[Anonymous]

be friends with her