Why many women insist for their partners to share all their thoughts with them?

[Xoxocutekitty]

When guys are having problems at work or whatever, and chooses chronically to "not talk about it," they more often non-verbalize it by taking out their frustrations out in their daily functions of living and by proxy their partner. No one enjoys being around the person who bangs stuff on the counter or swears at random objects because "it's not shutting properly" or someone who gives curt responses and doesn't have the bandwidth to ask about their partner's day. People want to be around people who are "present" or in other words, add value to their lives.

Living with someone who refuses to talk about their problems is like living with an empty prickly wall. It's negative energy, it's anti-connection, and it takes literally 30 seconds to tell your partner, hey it's not you, it's something that happened at work. But a lot of chronic "not talk about its" don't do that. you just sort of 'find out' that their in a mad mood by all of the swearing.

[razelove]

I usually only have that problem once. Women only say they want you to open up. If you really do things change, and not in a romantic comedy type way.

So, I make that abundantly clear when I get anything approaching that request by talking about all the bodies I saw after Katrina working for the Army Corps, or when I thought it would be a great idea to go through Laredo on a road-trip through mexico, saw people getting hacked up with machetes, hung from overpasses and thought I was going to die multiple times.(There happened to be a cartel war over shipping routes I found out later)

No one wants to hear about that, no one. So rather than fight against the tide, cause a flood and never worry about it again. Don't let any of it annoy you, or she'll think "oh wow, he really needs my healing with the sharing!" Just sit down, pour two drinks and be matter of fact about the absolute most horrible shit that happened to other people that you can think of witnessing.

It's key not to incriminate yourself, or make it about any feelings you actually had as that will change things. If you give a dry summary of a guy getting hit by a car in a hit and run and watching him die while wandering if he'd die first or you'd run out of cigarettes (third world country), or seeing someone have cardiac arrest and the struggle to keep them alive against certain death, not noticing that you caved their chest in and your arms started shaking by the time the EMTs showed up... but they had a weak pulse, a pulse! and I totally got laid later by the girl I was out on a date with that night. Anywho, you get the idea, share something horrible like that, and feel free to borrow one of mine, just stay dry about your description and how really everything is good, but you were just thinking about it, you know, to share.

Then ask them to share, really, anything. They'll be glad for the change of topic and leave you alone on that topic forever.

[Lionman95]

Because guys and women solve problems differently. Girls solve problems by talking about it. They talk about how they feel and stuff, they talk about it and solve the problem that way. Most guys are differently we (because I´m also like that) talk about problems when we can´t solve them. Talking about my problems is senseless to me if the problem isn´t solved afterwards. I don´t feeel better if I don´t get to know how to solve the problem. That´s something different. I categorize problems in minor and higher problems.
The reason why women want to talk is because there way of feeling they are the most helpful. They want to give what they´d like want the most solving a problem. Whereas guys want to be alone solving their problem knowing their woman to be happy and trusting them. Women on the other hand misunderstand that guys want to be left alone, they think they´ve done something and that he doesn´t appreciate them anymore. So they start worrying as well which leaves guys with another problem because only have they problem they had in the first place but their woman worrying adds one. So they are confused which problem to focus on. So tell her about your ways solving problems and assure her that it´s not a decision against her advice there are just situations where you need to be alone and to better focus on your own priorities. Although not being in a relationship but having an over-protective mum I had also to learn how to tell a female that guys sometimes need to make decisions on their own to bring structure in their lifes.

[btbc92]

Because women are emotional beings and as partners what affects you affects us. There is no point in having a partner if you can't trust your partner with your feelings. There needs to be respect and boundaries. But when you do that you push away the people you love and then the relationship suffers. A woman soon begins to wonder if she is in the right relationship and should she go elsewhere for one or just break up.

But for your situation. You were told this before. Either leave or deal with it. You are a person with a personality other than your background that doesn't need emotional attachments like that. She does. She is like me who needs a strong emotional connection. The difference is she's manipulative and abusive, yet you tolerate it. Neither you nor she wants to be alone. So that's why you have that problem. You can't change her and she can't change you.

[DrunkAss]

I found it relaxing to go the full way with my wife. And I did it early so that she could leave if it was too much for her. So I told her early on into the dating process that I wanna see Olympic volley girls naked while we were watching Olympics. I told her the bartender at the bar is hot. I told her that I don't like cooking with eggplant because I hate eggplant even though I love her and appreciate the effort. Truly no filter, you know, like jeopardize everything -- a red alert type of stuff for most people. But I went full-on with that and she stuck with me anyway.

It's very liberating to do that. Took me some exes including an engagement and two living with me before until I got comfortable going full-blown unfiltered with girls. But it is so liberating when you can. I mean I even call my wife a fatso. She call me fatso too. I pinch her belly, she pinches mine. I took the, "What's on your mind?" thing literally. And it is scary -- I was so afraid of losing her when I started -- but she stuck around like a fly to shit.

[Effably]

Welp. Should've known I was the woman in my relations. I absolutely dig understanding every thought of someone who fascinates me. Plus I have learned that attacking problems head on is far healthier than shrugging them off for relationships - at least to me.

[Nellyx]

I think this can seem like clingy behaviour, when from her perspective it just means she cares. I understand wanting to keep
some stuff to yourself and you can just communicate this, this has nothing to do with your feelings towards her or your relationship. We all may be a little bit more introverted than our partner, even in a relationship we can not change this. Communication is key!

[Asianguy123]

yeah I always thought that's fish. I mean.. women want to know everything he does and feelings about their husband. why? I mean a lot of women know already how their man feels before they even tell them. Asian woman are good with that. but Asian woman finds other men and say good bye to him. she lie to him that she wants to take care of him by doing something the man would like. I don't know.. I don't think they should tell each other everything. however they end up fooling around anyway. it's the matter of which side do it first. So just make sure that she knows that she can fool around without hurting his feelings. then she will stop asking you how you feel and do everyday.

[HawkPerception]

Communication is key. It allows understanding. We may not always agree with each other, however, we can respect that our partner is open and honest with us and respect that they trusted and confided in us. Always be open with your partner. Not letting them know something will only hurt you in the long run, unless it's something like you cheated on them. Then you just fucked up and should jump the bridge.

[Via_8662]

I can typically tell when something is bothering my boyfriend, and I will always ask him about it. My guess is that she is probably just trying to show you that she supports you.

[JSmuve]

Because that's how some women feel connected to their partners. They want to know every little detail because then they feel involved and a part of their lives. It can be annoying when you want your personal/mental space and they just smother you with their nosiness.

[Suzzz334]

By nature and nurture women are trained to “talk things out”. Females are typically the more social in behavior. This is not always the case sometimes you can get a really talkative and social male while you have a very reserved and quiet female. When the social partner picks up on the reserved person’s unhappiness, they want to help which means talking it out to them. It is different patterns of learned behavior because of how that person deals with stress and worry.

[Anonymous]

I get this n I do this too but for me it’s because I see my boyfriend keeping it in a lot and like he has no worries he can even cry to me n I wouldn’t care neither would it make me think any diff about him. I just notice if he doesn’t tell me a lot n he keeps it in all the time then ofc I wanna know why cuz then it does affect me too like he wouldn’t be happy for a week or so. Communication is important and don’t have to hide emotions 24/7

[Itsroxxie]

She's probably worried about you... no offense but some of your posts are worrying, you talk about drugs & you seem you have fallen in with the wrong crowd

[Bee-Hatch]

It's the basics of male vs female communication. Females share and nurture, that means discussion of feelings and events. Men problem solve so extraneous detail doesn't have the importance.

[madgoat]

They have a habit of extending their sense of self to those they love. It can be endearing. If she had experience at work similar to yours it would make sense to pick her brains.

[Cherokeehp]

That’s what supportive girlfriends do. She’s trying to offer you support. It seems like you could just tell her jist of what’s bothering you but assure her that you can handle it yourself.

[ChrisMike1919]

Sharing thoughts with your partner and vice versa I think leads to trust and strength in a relationship. Gives a boost of confidence, something like that.

[pleasestopthis]

Because they think it will make things better, somehow. People called me cold and neglecting because I prefer to wait until they're ready to vent lmao...

[Sparda20xx]

My guess, women like This have control issues. It's perfectly fine to keep some thoughts to yourself.

[Just_Me89]

I don't insist people share their feelings, but it certainly makes things easier to know what a person is thinking so if there's a problem or miscommunication it can be resolved.

[msc545]

Some women are extremely anxious and at the same time extremely controlling. Knowing everything about someone is a way for them to manage their anxiety about the other person and also a way to control the other person.

[TeeBar]

Insecure neurotic and/or a control freak... usually the latter.

[oyaoyaoya69]

Probably because of how it affects you, affects her. If you're in a pissy mood from it, the negativity will get her upset. It shows she cares about you.

[genericname85]

not all women are like that. if you don't like it, date a different girl.

[Gabboo332]

sometimes, we just want to see how we can help, some of us don't mean to pressure men about it, but since we deal with emotions differently, we usually think that talking to us would help 😄

[Omar5881]

You should share most of your thought and worried with your partner

[Avicenna]

Because that's pretty normal in a relationship

[anewme]

Is really annoying.. honest... it feels like she so jealous... its creepy...

[Nazgol]

Because they're afraid of betrayal. They dont want to get cheated on or backstabbed

[Thetwins]

My opinion, she doesn’t bring the openness in you. I’m sure If u had ur “twin soul” u would be delighted to pillow talk every night!

[Iron_Man]

I’m not sure some are just like that

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Just tell her to leave you alone.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Emotional bonding

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Like all of them?

[Anonymous]

To bond

[Indiepop123]

I think that natural and a healthy relationship