Ok guys hello,
I really need your help.

I’m with this guy since 11 months... I am 20 yo and he is 33. We started dating right before lockdown...

Turns out in the beginning he was super sweet and although he would do shady things behind my back (like talk to old sex friends etc), which we obviously argued about... That’s not the point though... SO it’s been 3 months that we ARGUE all the time. I feel like we don’t get along and have a rough time understanding each other. Whenever we argue we both agree on breaking up but never do because it’s an empty threat. He screams on the top of his lungs, hecalls me stupid, idiot, bad girlfriend, a piece of shit, to go fuck myself, that guys would only want me for my appearance/ to have sex etc..., that he doesn’t see his future with me, that I am 20 but act like 15... While I just talk (calmly) and start crying or saying he’s super mean to me and that I won’t handle this any longer... Which somehow makes him even more PISSED. When everything goes well, he is super kind and supportive, tells me I’m smart, that I’m the best thing that has happened in his life, that I’m the most amazing girlfriend... WHAT IS IP WITH HIM? It’s super hard for me because I’m scared of being alone/single... I have super low self esteem, and somehow always need a guy in my life... I know it sucks. This time i’ve had enough though, I literally told him that he needs to stop because this is affecting my self esteem etc. Literally cry all the time, and have lost my daddy this year ( so it’s Horrible for him to do this)...

I feel like he does not love me, and/or is using me... I don't know, how can you say these things to someone you care about?

For example today, we argued, and I decided to buy him a shirt just to be nice... He threw it on the floor, didn’t say thank you, and told me the shirt was not going to make things better etc. So I literally started crying and brought it back to the shop.
What is up with him? Is this normal? What should I do?
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