Why are men so against a woman looking through their texts?

[MrOracle]

I've never had a girlfriend even ASK to do this - not that I'd mind. Hell, if she wants to take all the calls and texts from my customers, GREAT!

The issue is that you have to START by looking how he treats you. If he is constantly on his phone when you're together, instead of paying attention to you, then, yeah, that's potentially a problem, but if he's not - if he's present and involved with you when you're together, then it's pretty unlikely that he's got stuff going on that you need to be worried about. Likewise, you shouldn't be on your phone all the time either.

But if his behavior has done nothing to make you question his feelings towards you, then you need to let it go, and realize that this is YOUR insecurities talking, not HIS behavior.

He shouldn't have to justify every conversation he's ever had, and just because someone with a female name texts him something doesn't mean he's cheating on you, etc. I've seen girls make such a huge deal because a woman left a voice mail (often for something like a doctor's appointment or a car service or whatever) and she demands that he "defends" this call - it's insane, and I definitely wouldn't stand for it myself.

[Anonymous]

because you have no right to look. None what so ever. If you cannot trust the person you're with to the point where you feel like you need to spy on him, you should not be with him. End of story, end of discussion.

Let me give you a different situation. Were i to date someone like you, it would never work, Not because im dishonest, Its because my company owns my phone, It has both private company data on it a and private government data on it. If i were to give you access to it, even just to look at texts, i would be looking at prison time, and so would you. And before you say im wrong about this, you have no idea what industry i work in, number one, and number 2, an ex pulled the same shit, only it was company email. Last i checked she's serving a very long prison sentence for violating federal law. And all she found was that i bought pizza for my self and some colleagues.

Only an insecure and immature person feels the need to violate their partners private without cause.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps one should look at this question in a different way... why does the other person want and need to read through text messages that aren’t from them or to them? I would find it offense and disrespectful for someone to go digging around in my txts. I have a job that requires confidentiality due to HIPAA. My husband and I both know that if it important we will share that text.

[19magic]

That's bloody weird like why would you need to, one violation of privacy. There's things I talks out with my girl I wouldn't want my boyfriend to see and I'm sure it's the same with his friends. What if they have a secret to tell you and your boyfriend snoops that's unacceptable to me

[WindAtMyBack]

"everything should be open"
Wrong.

""snooping" is not a thing when you're in a relationship."
Wrong again.

He has every right to privacy and you should respect it. Giving your partner privacy is one of the most important parts of a relationship. You can think he should share everything if you want, but if he doesn't want to share everything, you either have to respect that, or find someone else.

Snooping is a serious violation of another person's rights.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

Because I have things in my phone that aren't any of my partner's business.

I have texts from friends that vent to me about very personal things that they trust me to keep just between us. Am I supposed to betray their confidence and let my partner read that stuff because they have have their own trust issues?

In my camera roll I have quotes, poems, and art about surviving abuse that I find comforting when I think about the abuse I suffered as a child. I don't tell my partner about that because it's too personal, but I guess my privacy doesn't matter when they've decided they don't believe I'm faithful to them.

I understand it's hard to trust someone if you've been cheated on in the past, or grew up around cheating in some way. And I'm sorry for that, but if my partner has trust issues, those are THEIR issues to work through, NOT mine to cater to. Some things are private, even between couples.

[Misterwolf]

I've found it's usually the opposite. My last girlfriend wouldn't let me near her phone, always watched me when I would grab it. I used to tease her about it, trying to use her finger to unlock her phone. Turns out she had things she wanted to keep hidden from me... maybe it's more a personal issue, and not gender related

[jasco]

You know what fam, i have my own shit and what you might deem as inappropriate i might not deem it that way. Plus i don't like anyone looking threw my stuff. Keep ya hands to yourself and if i want to share something i will but till then its not your job to see what i do, nor is it your job to correct me on everything either. If i wanna stay with you i will and i don't want to then i won't. Rather you trust me or not, you have no right to look threw something that someone doesn't want you to look threw even if he isn't doing anything wrong. It's called personal space

[Shiver]

If you can't agree on the topic of privacy with someone, don't be in a fucking relationship with them. It's really that simple. People aren't all the same, so stop acting like everyone holds your values. My girlfriend doesn't snoop around on my phone and I don't do it on hers either because we agree on that. Find someone who shares your values on this instead of trying to force it on others. Really makes you look like a fucking clown.

[caring__1]

Snooping is a red flag in any relationship. If you're curious about something, explore it with your boyfriend; don't do it behind his back. How would you feel if he does things behind your back? By doing anything behind his back, you're telling him it is OK for him to do things behind your back. I don't think you want to get started down this road. Think about where your choices will take you long-term.

[Kurαȷ]

Because trust is essential in a relationship, and the lack of it frankly makes you look incredibly undesirable.

I do not want a partner who feels threatened by imaginary "other girls".
If they have that little confidence in themselves, then in all honesty, they will start convincing me that the other people may be superior.

[Cataphract]

You are not legaly responsible for him, therefore you have no right to go through his things. If you do not trust him, end the relationship. There is no future. What will you do when he goes out of town for business for 3 days? Trust is the most important thing in a relationship.

[DesolateRain]

People like thier privacy.

The obsession of two people being togther, it's like being smelted in a cauldron.

Love, turning into obsession because despite being in a relationship you just can't trust the other person. Going out of your way to spying in everything he does.

If you don't trust your man then leave him, simple as that.

[Red_Arrow]

There are different levels of relationships. If you are married or close to it, then I can agree with you. But if the relationship is less, then the trust is less.

[slatyb]

In a relationship or not we're still separate people. I'm not entitled to read my wife's conversations with her sister or friends, and vice versa. People may tell my wife things they would rather she not pass on to me.

[RingOfFire]

Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean you have agreed to forfeit your right to privacy. It is not polite or respectful to demand or even ask to see someone else's private conversations.

The issue isn't about "you should trust them," it's about if you DON'T trust them enough to be able to allow them to have their personal space and privacy then you shouldn't be in the relationship.

[Lunatic1]

Just as an example, maybe he could want to plan a surprise for you that would be spoiled if you went through his messages. But it also displays a controlling nature that is a major turn off to most men.

[admles]

1. His conversations with others are private. You are not part of them and have no right to read them.

2. You obviously have trust issues, else you wouldn’t even bring this up. Work on this.

3. 6 months is barely a relationship, it’s not long term.

4. Get over yourself.

[Lexi_Lous]

I prefer it this way, there has to be some privacy, he can look, but I don't want him to check it like everyday just to check

[andreasderjuengere]

Girls tend to see things where there are no things.
That makes some of us men nervous ( --> misinterpretations) - we just don't seek endless discussions about actually nothing.

[spartan55]

Hahah... yeah I don't think so. You would getting the gate quick with that bullshit.

[Anonymous]

Because it’s a violation of privacy? Just bc you’re in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you’re not entitled to privacy. Why would you need to look through his texts anyway?

[clampfan101]

Why do they snoop in the first place? I don’t have anything to hide, but if she was snooping I’d suspect she thought that I did.

[Anonymous]

I call "bullshit"! Everyone (male or female) have a right to privacy and boundaries...

[Giggletr0nn]

Do you let him go through your phone? Something tells me you don't.

[jahaims]

That is an invasion of privacy and if you can't trust you s/I don't be with them

[msc545]

Because some things are simply private and should be.

[Nachowedgie]

Privacy is still a thing, if you can't respect that then you shouldn't be in a relationship to begin with

[TheUniqueOne96]

Do you let him go through yours too or what?

[Waldoe]

they have something to hide, and they hate nosey bitches

[SandandWaves]

everyone has a right to their privacy

[Orangesareyummy]

Because most guys are trash.

[Hydrogen]

Because that's how psychopaths act? Lol..

[AFellowWeeb]

Do you let your boyfriend snoop around your phone?

[Anonymous]

This isn’t just a issue for guys you know