Am I the asshole?

Anonymous
So to keep it short, I lost my job at the start of this month. I had no control over it. Yes i have been extremely active in looking for a job, with several interviews lined up.

I haven't told my fiance as we both have been struggling with a lot between our emotions, our depression, our jobs, and our finacials. I feel bad fpr not saying anything but I wanted to come to terms with it myself. Its been a huge blow to me. And my depression has only gotten worse because of it. Not an excuse but its myside of things. I love my fiance but its been a struggle.
He called me today and fibbed about calling my work asking if I still had my job or not. Granted I felt upset that he did that, but I also understand we are both under a lot of stress and it can make you do things, but he claims I have been lying to him and not forth coming with information. He says that I would have never told him or just lied about it and he also says that he doesn't know if he can trust me. During the times I have been going to "work" i've been going to the park to relax abit and focus on applying for jobs, handing out my resume and making the best of a shitty situation.

He has completely blown up about this, while I understand the fustration of having to find out. I feel also mad because it was something I wanted to tell him when I was ready, and something I wanted to be able to come clean about on my terms. I also feel that I do understand his anger for not having been honest right off the bat with him and telling him I have been going to work when I have been going to the park, but its only been alittle more than a week, and with both of our stress and depression it wasn't easy to tell him as I had felt like I a failure and I wanted to at least have something to show for it. Am I the asshole for feeling like while I do agree I should have said something sooner but I don't feel like thos complete freak out is needed?
Am I the asshole?
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