What do you do when someone hurt you badly and yet tries to play the victim?

Question

Answer 1

Xper 2

You should talk to them, tell that person he/she is hurting u by this.. sometimes the person would have had a very bad past where he was he or she was made with them so they take it out on others know sometimes they want to look I am innocent because they want you to support them one of my friend every time she will fight with me at the end of the day she will be like I did this because you did that to me and it makes me feel sorry then later I came to know she was abused in her family so she was trying to like I didn't do anything. tell the person whenever you face a problem with them tell them that this is the thing what you did hurt me and you should be clear with them or should understand them or another option is stay away from them if you can't take it this way you will be happy

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Answer 2

Brainsbeforebeauty | 991 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Influencer

Disassociate myself from that person. If someone hurts you and then tries to play the victim, they're
1-someone that can't admit, own, take responsibility for their own actions or mistakes.
2- shows things won't change or get better, if they can't admit they did anything wrong their behavior, actions won't change.

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5 People

Brainsbeforebeauty

1 y
Thanks for mh

Answer 3

Brainsbeforebeauty

Thanks for mh

Answer 4

Jjpayne | 2.4K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

It's a unqine place... I guess they are trying to vindicate their decision... to get you to agree it was the right choice to the point where they make you feel guilty...

I think it depends on what it is and how they hurt you. Different situations call for different approaches 🤔 but overall, standing your ground and making your opinion strongly known is a start. Depending on the relationship, a boss, a teacher or a family member, you might not be able to totally space yourself from them but a boyfriend, friend or ex.. you could simply ghost them until they behave, or block their number and remove from social media.

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Answer 5

CuriousMufuxka | 1.1K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Distance myself socially.

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1 Person

Answer 6

Jean-Marie_Céline

Influencer

My mother is like that.
I'm considering pressing charges.

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EyebrowChewie

1 y
honestly would you consider get counselling, its sad to see you're hurting like this. You really just want a fresh mind, fresh start, block out any negative emotions because the rest of your life deserves a chance at happiness

Answer 7

EyebrowChewie

honestly would you consider get counselling, its sad to see you're hurting like this. You really just want a fresh mind, fresh start, block out any negative emotions because the rest of your life deserves a chance at happiness

Answer 8

Aguysopinion4799 | 276 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Admittedly I tend to make them the victim... if they want to play the victim I often decide to make sure that the situation is fitting. But if they do something to me and then recognise their mistake and apologise then I will be less likely to cause a scene about it.

I mean, I know so many times in my life when a person has played the victim card and I just make sure they regret using such a method... if you give someone one bad experience and it is linked to a certain thing they did, they learn fairly soon not to do it again.

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Imcmullan

1 y
how do u do this?
Aguysopinion4799

1 y
@Imcmullan Well... one of the methods is easy but the other method is complicated to explain...

Hmm... I would say that based on the situation of who is playing the victim card and for what reason, there are two methods to use, physical and mental.

Historically I made people the victim physically more regardless because I didn't realise how powerful a tool mental torture could be. So in a lot of situations when someone hit me then played the victim card, I would hit them so they were actually a victim.

But once I got to around 18 I think I realised that I could make someone a much bigger victim mentally and even not be leaving a trace of me doing it, so if someone played a victim card I realised that mentalism is a much better choice.

The topics that incite the victim behaviour varies from person to person so I can't give a one type thing but I can say that in a lot of cases you want to make it something they are deeply embarrassed about or you make a type of threat but make it in a way that is kind of shrouded...

So when they ask what you meant by that you will just tell them that they need to figure it out themselves before it is too late, basically people get very insecure when you tell them one unnerving thing and then don't tell them the true meaning behind the statement.

And regarding the one of embarrassing things, every time they ask if you told anyone the thing, you will just say that you may or may not have told a certain individual, and that they are free to interpret those words how they wish.

Answer 9

Imcmullan

how do u do this?

Answer 10

Aguysopinion4799

@Imcmullan Well... one of the methods is easy but the other method is complicated to explain...

Hmm... I would say that based on the situation of who is playing the victim card and for what reason, there are two methods to use, physical and mental.

Historically I made people the victim physically more regardless because I didn't realise how powerful a tool mental torture could be. So in a lot of situations when someone hit me then played the victim card, I would hit them so they were actually a victim.

But once I got to around 18 I think I realised that I could make someone a much bigger victim mentally and even not be leaving a trace of me doing it, so if someone played a victim card I realised that mentalism is a much better choice.

The topics that incite the victim behaviour varies from person to person so I can't give a one type thing but I can say that in a lot of cases you want to make it something they are deeply embarrassed about or you make a type of threat but make it in a way that is kind of shrouded...

So when they ask what you meant by that you will just tell them that they need to figure it out themselves before it is too late, basically people get very insecure when you tell them one unnerving thing and then don't tell them the true meaning behind the statement.

And regarding the one of embarrassing things, every time they ask if you told anyone the thing, you will just say that you may or may not have told a certain individual, and that they are free to interpret those words how they wish.

Answer 11

glamz091506

Xper 5

I try my best to make my case towards the person whom hurt me that their actions put some damage towards me on how I view him/her. If this person is one to make a spectacle in saying that I'm the "attacker", I'd share my view to those whom matter most to me in telling them my side of the story in hopes they see my vantage point. If this person continues to mistreat me, I'd cut them out of my life.

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Answer 12

Espresso-Grande | 344 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

It depends on who they are and how they hurt me.

I may hear them out, because sometimes people only see one side of things when they've been hurt. I may have also hurt too them without realizing I had. So it really depends on a situation.

If I know someone is trying to manipulate me by playing the victim, I'd just ignore them.

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Answer 13

Ewgies01

Xper 5

Sounds like you are both hurt. You need to have a heart to heart and understand where each of you are coming from. Make SURE you own anything that’s your responsibility or close. you will have a much better chance of reconciliation. Listen, set boundaries, share your truth and be open minded.

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Answer 14

Toast792

Xper 6

I don't typically let people close enough to hurt me. But when people try to play the victim in an argument, I keep a stone cold attitude and a monotone voice, and try to overwhelm them with facts. If they are too stupid to give up on their trash 'victim' routine, then I will likely stop talking to them. I would rather not be associated with that kind of person.

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Answer 15

JustinTheGreat | 668 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

I’ve always been way too nice and forgiving of a person. I used to be manipulated very easily. And I’ve finally learned to see when someone is being manipulative and to cut those people off. It’s still hard for me and I still feel bad no matter how bad a person treated me, but I’ve been forcing myself to cut contact with people who try to play victim and I’m definitely more stress free because of it.

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Answer 16

Horny-ashell

Xper 5

I'm not sure that I would actually do anything. Just because someone has hurt me and wants to be the victim doesn't mean that I would want to have anything to do with them trying it act as if I had wronged them in any way. I would probably just move on and try to avoid them for what they have done to me. I try my best not to hold grudges towards anyone that would make me as bad a person as they are. Nobody wins in this kind of situation.

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Answer 17

RingOfFire | 226 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 7

I'll counter with "What do you do when someone hurts you badly because they think THEY are the victim and you ARE actually the victim?"

Everything is about perspective.

The answer is to not be so sure you are right and try to see things from their perspective. If you BOTH do that, you can work anything out.

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Answer 18

EssenceOfLight | 317 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Explorer

Generally I go in full escalation mode with them.
I'm kidding with sarcastic phrases like "Aww, you poor boy/girl..." Psychos are obsessed with their status quo as credible person and can't handle handle situations when someone treats them like spoiled children.

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Answer 19

dezzydoodles

Xper 5

my mom is like this and i relly think its dumb bc its shows the immaturity and the failure to grow up and take reponsibility for your actions yet you can call out and bitch when someone hurts youand let them deny iy its ww3

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Answer 20

ZackBan | 365 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Im a pragmatic person I don't really go into emotional debates with people.
Those who hurt me usually make my list of enemies and I make what they did clear to them in a conversation. It doesn't matter if they play the victim once you are my enemy anything you say is irrelevant and you'll figure out eventually that you made a costly mistake.

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1 Person

Answer 21

RolandCuthbert | 240 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Put distance between yourself and that nonsense. Don't try to reason with it or try to argue with it.

Get away from that kind of poison. You don't need that in your life.

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Answer 22

likelyOK | 325 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Explorer

I have seen people like that but not experienced myself maybe call them out on their shit that is probably what it takes

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Answer 23

Jayla2000

Xper 5

Time to cut them out my life.
My rule is
Ya bring no value to my life, I got no place for ya in my life

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Answer 24

Hannah_le | 102 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

Mm i hurt them lol UNOOO
What do you do when someone hurt you badly and yet tries to play the victim?

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Answer 25

lonelyfortune

Xper 1

Being a victim and hurting someone else doesn't exclude each other. It's quite common for victims to hurt others if they don't know how to process it. It's a part of misguided venting.

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Answer 26

Thedivinechic | 77 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 5

Ignore it. They probably just suffered a lot of abuse in the past. So, they see themselves in that light. Give them a chance. Be patient. Just love them

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Answer 27

EyebrowChewie

Xper 5

They dont really succeed as theyve likely been doing that most of their life.

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Answer 28

ct1243

Xper 6

Forgive them and move on. Block them and stop communication

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What do you do when someone hurt you badly and yet tries to play the victim?

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