What does a healthy relationship look like?

Question

Would you stay with someone that keeps telling you they want something casual, only makes time for sex, calls to make sure you're still staying interested in them. Wants to buy in to a house you've been saving towards for years and doesn't discuss anything else towards your future with them?

Answer 1

Jjpayne | 2.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

It's a relationship that takes time to know the person. To me and how I view it while romance is the goal I'd prefer to know the girl like my sister first, to have fun like I'm having fun with my sister or a friend. It's like a baseline. I want to see if we comfortable with each other before the romance. But letting the process to intimacy be earned. That first kiss should not be expected and sex is earned only as soon as trust and comfort is established which could take weeks, months and for others a year. The guy you want is the guy that will be patient and understanding of your comfort level with intimacy. But as a baseline knowing the person first as a friend, then the romance. Simply because it's deeper and more meaningful that way and yes, there is such a thing as a romantic mindset that if you view it at the beginning as romantic then it will be a romantic relationship. But to me, I'd much rather take her to a theme park where we both dress casual, and just go to have fun and see how we feel hanging out with each other, see what happens, what we talk about, what we value. Just imagine the line waiting, its perfect to talk and get to know it each other but the key is to not make it awkward but trying to feel more natural with talking because there is no pressure to be Romantic in that moment

Answer 2

na2398

Xper 5

No, that's an unhealthy relationship. My kinda relationship would be consisting of unconditional love, commitment, mutual respect, pushing each other to grow, giving space and having lives outside the relationship.

lilyanony1

10 d
I hear you but not a lot of people really understand what it takes to make that type of thing really work so they try and sex you into blindness. And hope you're stupid enough to stick at this crap.
na2398

10 d
Agreed. They feel that they could trick you into believing that they truly love you.

Answer 3

lilyanony1

I hear you but not a lot of people really understand what it takes to make that type of thing really work so they try and sex you into blindness. And hope you're stupid enough to stick at this crap.

Answer 4

na2398

Agreed. They feel that they could trick you into believing that they truly love you.

Answer 5

Ewgies01

Xper 5

Sounds like your gut is saying no. Always go with your gut. If you are happy with a casual “fuck buddy” relationship, by all means. Good for you. If not, do something about it. You deserve to feel secure and happy in your relationships.

Answer 6

MannMitAntworten | 1.6K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

The larger question is whether I wish to pursue a relationship with this individual. The conversation of wishing to keep things “casual”, no I would not. Further, I would not play house with this individual as it would detract other more meaningful possibilities from ever entering my sphere... which would defeat your apparent desire for a meaningful pursuit. What you describe is a ‘distraction’.

Answer 7

ItsTheNephilim | 1.4K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

Being on like terms, loving, and understanding of one another with proper communication is what a healthy relationship is.

What you described isn't what I'd call a good relationship; more like fuck buddies who have crossed the line.

Answer 8

jshm2 | 250 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Doesn't sound healthy, but neither do you.

Maybe reevaluate what you're after, and what they're after?

lilyanony1

10 d
I didn't ask you to insult me, asked you a straight forward question.
You should be more considerate of your words as matter of the heart can leave people very blind

Answer 9

lilyanony1

I didn't ask you to insult me, asked you a straight forward question.
You should be more considerate of your words as matter of the heart can leave people very blind

Answer 10

msc545 | 1.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Maybe not. But first, have a serious talk with this person.

lilyanony1

10 d
Yes, I told him to F off.
msc545

10 d
Ok, well, that should solve the problem. Well done!
lilyanony1

10 d
Well done you know. Lol. He didn't like what I had to say too much. But did I expect much else? Hmm...
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msc545

10 d
I think your expectations were more than reasonable.
lilyanony1

10 d
Indeed. He completely isolated me from everything and everyone I knew.
msc545

10 d
good riddance.
lilyanony1

10 d
I remember I was so angry at him and how little our life was progressing that I started to get angry at everyone about anything. People in general are selfish these days but more so now than ever. I remember ending a friendship with one girl because she always wanted to eat Chinese food (she's Chinese) if I suggested somewhere else she'd moan and say she didn't want eat there or try and convince me a dish I hadn't tried would be better. The lady straw was her wanting to take photos on a bench with bird crap on the seat she kept trying to push me close to the bird crap because the lighting wasn't so good for her face so I didn't move and she took the photo and she looked OK whilst I looked bad. Funny thing he told me she wasn't a good friend before this and I could see she was a user but he wasn't really acting any different. I think she was asking me for cv help or something

Answer 11

lilyanony1

Yes, I told him to F off.

Answer 12

msc545

Ok, well, that should solve the problem. Well done!

Answer 13

lilyanony1

Well done you know. Lol. He didn't like what I had to say too much. But did I expect much else? Hmm...

Answer 14

msc545

I think your expectations were more than reasonable.

Answer 15

lilyanony1

Indeed. He completely isolated me from everything and everyone I knew.

Answer 16

msc545

good riddance.

Answer 17

lilyanony1

I remember I was so angry at him and how little our life was progressing that I started to get angry at everyone about anything. People in general are selfish these days but more so now than ever. I remember ending a friendship with one girl because she always wanted to eat Chinese food (she's Chinese) if I suggested somewhere else she'd moan and say she didn't want eat there or try and convince me a dish I hadn't tried would be better. The lady straw was her wanting to take photos on a bench with bird crap on the seat she kept trying to push me close to the bird crap because the lighting wasn't so good for her face so I didn't move and she took the photo and she looked OK whilst I looked bad. Funny thing he told me she wasn't a good friend before this and I could see she was a user but he wasn't really acting any different. I think she was asking me for cv help or something

Answer 18

boggboss | 4.7K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

No that seems like a stupid idea

lilyanony1

10 d
Are you sure because he thought it was highly logical. Living two separate lives and just snagging and enabling him to get rich. Of my own hard work
boggboss

10 d
No he was trying to do it to use you its not logic its simply him trying to use you and not caring about you has nothing to even do with a relationship just a toxic person
lilyanony1

10 d
I hear you. I understand that now. For a long time I actually believed he was genuine. The excuses were simply because of circumstances. But after a time apart and reuniting only brought back those old feels of pain and anxiety. I've never felt so betrayed used and hurt in all my life.

Answer 19

lilyanony1

Are you sure because he thought it was highly logical. Living two separate lives and just snagging and enabling him to get rich. Of my own hard work

Answer 20

boggboss

No he was trying to do it to use you its not logic its simply him trying to use you and not caring about you has nothing to even do with a relationship just a toxic person

Answer 21

lilyanony1

I hear you. I understand that now. For a long time I actually believed he was genuine. The excuses were simply because of circumstances. But after a time apart and reuniting only brought back those old feels of pain and anxiety. I've never felt so betrayed used and hurt in all my life.

Answer 22

COMMODOREII | 1.8K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

IM not sure. I haven't had one yet.

lilyanony1

10 d
What do you want for yourself and in a partner that you think will be conducive to a healthy relationship
COMMODOREII

10 d
Equality is a big one. Communication without any nagging. Intelligent collaboration and understanding. Actually loving each other and never worrying about that nor worrying about them cheating. Full trust and confidence. Lots and lots and lots of sex. Lol
lilyanony1

10 d
I get that. He worked for himself and tried to work as much as he could as he had a business. We didn't live together. He didn't like where I lived as it was beneath him. And he didn't have much time. But he selfishly was holding on to me. Because I was a good one. I didn't nag I asked when he was free but what he did was flake on me and preferred to go out with "others" doing fun things. He made me feel so low about myself I stayed home because I believed I was too stupid weird of unlikeable to find anyone else. Or contribute to society in a positive way
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COMMODOREII

10 d
That's not right.
lilyanony1

10 d
Well that's what he did. I wasn't pathetic like this when we first met. I was popular and fun. But he really broke me down and he was very good at making it seem like I was being unreasonable. I was always the single friend and I won't lie when I split up with him I didn't have much success with other guys. I stayed because I didn't want to be alone. My friends were really my friends they'd always call others before me even before we started dating. So being single was unbearably lonely. It felt better saying "my boyfriends working" when asked where he was or if I had one then saying "I don't have a boyfriend"...
there's an internal sadness I just can't shake

Answer 23

lilyanony1

What do you want for yourself and in a partner that you think will be conducive to a healthy relationship

Answer 24

COMMODOREII

Equality is a big one. Communication without any nagging. Intelligent collaboration and understanding. Actually loving each other and never worrying about that nor worrying about them cheating. Full trust and confidence. Lots and lots and lots of sex. Lol

Answer 25

lilyanony1

I get that. He worked for himself and tried to work as much as he could as he had a business. We didn't live together. He didn't like where I lived as it was beneath him. And he didn't have much time. But he selfishly was holding on to me. Because I was a good one. I didn't nag I asked when he was free but what he did was flake on me and preferred to go out with "others" doing fun things. He made me feel so low about myself I stayed home because I believed I was too stupid weird of unlikeable to find anyone else. Or contribute to society in a positive way

Answer 26

COMMODOREII

That's not right.

Answer 27

lilyanony1

Well that's what he did. I wasn't pathetic like this when we first met. I was popular and fun. But he really broke me down and he was very good at making it seem like I was being unreasonable. I was always the single friend and I won't lie when I split up with him I didn't have much success with other guys. I stayed because I didn't want to be alone. My friends were really my friends they'd always call others before me even before we started dating. So being single was unbearably lonely. It felt better saying "my boyfriends working" when asked where he was or if I had one then saying "I don't have a boyfriend"...
there's an internal sadness I just can't shake

Answer 28

MrCreep | 69 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 5

Would you I guess and it don't look like that

lilyanony1

10 d
🤷🏾‍♀️ I don't know we live in a crazy world
MrCreep

10 d
I mean you say that cause it's you?
lilyanony1

10 d
What's me, Mr creep?
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MrCreep

10 d
What you said
lilyanony1

10 d
This is getting confusing
MrCreep

10 d
Your question what else you think I mean lol or can I even mean anything else here or anywhere 😂