When do you tell someone you have feelings for them?

[zeitgeist057]

It is on a case by case basis. Usually I wait until I feel the same kind of vibe from them. I actually have a recent example, as there was a girl from work who I didn't pay any attention to when she started. But after she'd been working with the company for a couple months, we ended up on a shift together for the first time; an overnight shift just the two of us.

We talked all night and it flew by. She was very engaging, genuine, intelligent, and we had great eye contact during the conversation. I wouldn't say it was romantic, but afterwards I definitely felt an intense desire to spend more time with her. I waited to see if we would do any more shifts together, but we didn't, so after a couple weeks I asked her to hang out outside of work and she agreed.

We went hiking and had more great conversation and again, not super romantic energy, but definitely felt connected and I feel myself starting to be attracted to her. When we talk and I'm looking in her eyes so deep, my mind can wander then or later when I'm reflecting on it and I imagine it more romantically. Having that same kind of eye contact while laying in bed together, or making love. It's an exciting fantasy for me.

But I start to get the vibe from her that she's not that interested in the same way I am, so now we haven't talked in a couple days and I sent a text yesterday inviting her to spend time with me 4 days from now, but she ignored it. So I am thinking it's not a mutual desire and I'll just let it go.

Back to your question though, if she were feeding into me and giving me flirty energy back then I would build on that and once I felt it was mutual I would either express verbally or just probably kiss her in some intense intimate moment or other.

[Xitomyth]

When I know for sure that I do like them and have confirmed that they are available and not some psychotic or sociopathic serial killer. I need to know who I am dealing with first. Exclusivity should be handled first though, I am fine with not being exclusive for the beginning because nothing definitive has happened yet. It's up each person to choose, I suggest going with your instincts unless they have a history of being wrong...

[kyila96]

Personally, it’s neither. Obviously it will depend on the circumstances, but say I met someone online (most common way at the moment!), I’d know what my intentions were. If I was on the app hoping for love, I would NOT bother becoming friends first. In saying that, I wouldn’t inform them on how I was feeling until I’d met them in person a few times. Prior to meeting I’d typically get to know them on a surface-level, then in person I’d learn if we were compatible (hopefully physically too). Even if I felt I had feelings for them before meeting, it would take more than that for me to express myself as even simple things such as body language could change my mind. When I knew the person well enough to safely say I liked them and saw a vivid future with them by side, in spite of their flaws. I’d tell them.
As a defence mechanism, I do usually only tell the person when they’ve hinted they like me too...

[Cynicaldreamer]

Typically after I've gotten to know him first- that's the main thing to consider. I spend as much time with him as I can, eat lunch or talk with him, text him regularly; basically reach out and see what type of person he is.

Then I make sure he's single and not seeing anyone (because I would feel like an idiot telling a guy I like him and he's already seeing someone! Been there, done that before and it sucks).

There really is no definite timeframe to say when you like someone, though I wouldn't do it as soon as you meet them because: a) how do you know if they feel the same way or aren't taken and, b) you need to make sure they're your type before you invest time in them.

[NC12396]

Whenever I started having feelings I straight away confronted them. No hiding things. Unfortunately they think that I am flirting which is not true. I am only trying to maintain honesty which is the foundation of every friendship or relationship.

[invalid1]

When you have feelings for them.
Give reason- Because you have feelings for them. It is good that they know.

[t-8900]

When you feel the time is right. It's different for everybody. If you want a serious relationship I feel you should always be upfront with things. Secrets build a doomed foundation.

[exitseven]

After maybe 4 or five dates you can tell them that you really like them. Don't be a dork about it though.

[serious]

Don't think there is any right time for such a thing.

[Anonymous]

I do it after having dated and got to known him and how it is to be with him in a romantic way. I never got feelings for a friend, but I also never had a close guy friend.

[Coulis]

If and when it is morally and ethically ok to do so.

[whatdoyouwantt]

When you feel like its the right time, ofc not immediately

[Smoothing]

That will depend on how well you already know the person.

[The_Outlaw]

Last time was about four months in. Telling her was about the worst mistake I think I ever could have made.

[that_one_chick113]

You need to know the person first and after you know for sure that you like them then that’s when you tell them

[Alyssa11]

You can’t come off too strong at the beginning because it can scare the other person. Also if you take it slow your relationship is more likely to be healthy.

[nozomiya]

i like to get to know people first before fully forming a crush on them and then falling in love with them

[Ddylan]

To understand whether I like him truly or not I would tell when we could become friends

[Anonymous]

I mean asking then directly can be creepy so knowing them is better

[makriks]

depends on the level of friendship

[Anonymous]

Once she said it first.

[lili_lili]

I never say unless they say

[Iron_Man]

like now

[AkshiJanjua]

Never

[Anonymous]

AFTER sex.