Is slapping always abuse?

Question

I’m a bit confused. Sometimes my boyfriend play slaps me when we’re messing around. Only afterwards do I think... hmm I don’t think he should’ve done that. It happened earlier and I’m kind of freaked out... like it was enough for me to go ‘ouch’ and normally it isn’t so hard. I don’t believe he would ever do it out of anger; maybe it was a case of not knowing his own strength? Me and my boyfriend have a happy relationship in general and he isn’t an ‘angry’ or ‘violent’ person. Have any guys done this to their girlfriends? Or have any girls experienced this kind of ‘play’ slapping?

Answer 1

Hannah_le | 85 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Explorer

You said he didn’t do it out of anger and as well I’m sure u haven’t told him to stop but if it really gets to you and u don’t like play fighting then confront him and let him know of course. Don’t try making him feel like a bad guy if u generally know he didn’t mean it in that way. But no it’s not.

Answer 2

Anonymous

It's your body, right, so if something someone else is doing to it is making you uncomfortable even if they didn't mean to do what they are doing in any sort of abusive way, it is your job to communicate that. Make it clear, you're not calling him an abuser, but just that you would like for him not to slap you anymore. He as a mature adult should be able to respect your wishes and not do it anymore.

Answer 3

20yearsolder | 268 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

In my opinion, abuse is being treated some way that you don't want to be treated. If he truly loves you, you tell him that hey I don't want to be slapped anymore. I don't find it amusing or arousing. Please stop it

Answer 4

worldscolide | 1.7K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

Communication is key here. If you have not talked to him, do so. Its only abuse if he is doing something to you that you do not want.

worldscolide

1 d
Let me put it a different way, I slap my wife all the time... Only on the butt, and its because it turns her on for some reason.. Doesn't make sense to me.. But she likes it, so i do it. If it was something she did not want me to do, and she told me not to do it, it would be abuse if i kept doing it.
Asker

1 d
Yes I talked to him about it. He said sorry. But he also said I was making a drama out if it because he didn’t do it in an angry way, it was just a little playfighting. What I am unsure about though is that it happened because he was trying to stop me getting some chocolate for an after dinner snack. I’m not overweight or whatever and I have a balanced diet yet he has a slight issue with me eating too much candy etc. So when I was protesting about it (albeit in a jokey way), that’s when he lightly slapped my cheek. I don’t like that he did it to get his point across or control me in some way. Does that make sense?
worldscolide

1 d
It makes sense.. As long as he doesn't do it again.. But if he keeps doing it thats a different matter

Answer 5

worldscolide

Let me put it a different way, I slap my wife all the time... Only on the butt, and its because it turns her on for some reason.. Doesn't make sense to me.. But she likes it, so i do it. If it was something she did not want me to do, and she told me not to do it, it would be abuse if i kept doing it.

Answer 6

Asker

Yes I talked to him about it. He said sorry. But he also said I was making a drama out if it because he didn’t do it in an angry way, it was just a little playfighting. What I am unsure about though is that it happened because he was trying to stop me getting some chocolate for an after dinner snack. I’m not overweight or whatever and I have a balanced diet yet he has a slight issue with me eating too much candy etc. So when I was protesting about it (albeit in a jokey way), that’s when he lightly slapped my cheek. I don’t like that he did it to get his point across or control me in some way. Does that make sense?

Answer 7

worldscolide

It makes sense.. As long as he doesn't do it again.. But if he keeps doing it thats a different matter

Answer 8

slatyb | 2.9K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

How do you feel about it?

Asker

1 d
I only know I don’t like it when he does it or tries to control my sweets intake (which by the way is not excessive!)
slatyb

1 d
Then tell him to stop doing those things.

Answer 9

Asker

I only know I don’t like it when he does it or tries to control my sweets intake (which by the way is not excessive!)

Answer 10

slatyb

Then tell him to stop doing those things.

Answer 11

Anonymous

My momma dontr think so. She slap us day an night

Asker

1 d
I hope not!
Opinion Owner

1 d
She still slap us

Answer 12

Asker

I hope not!

Answer 13

Opinion Owner

She still slap us

Is slapping always abuse?

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