Should I look for a boyfriend or should I let him find me?

Anonymous
Should I look for a boyfriend or should I let him find me?
Hi guys, I'm 30 and have been single for the past 5 years. Before I was single, I was in 2 different 1 year long relationships, the guys promised to marry me but ended up cheating on me, lying to me, abusing me and saying that the relationship meant nothing to them, that I was just a comfy hole that was willing and available (what a romantic thing to tell your fiancé, but whatever).
When I was 25, I tried to find love via Tinder and other apps, but it never worked. I would match with almost anyone I swiped right on, but the majority of the guys would ask for sexual favours straight away or not show up on dates. If, however, he showed up on the date, he asked for sex straight away. He would say things like: "Hey I think you're so beautiful and hot, I want to have sex with you for hours and hours, but I will block your number after sex because I don't want to see you again after sex". I have also met plenty of guys at different social situations, library, supermarket, local park - but they all tell me quite quickly that they just want to sleep with me and don't want anything to do with me after sex. It seems like a relationship is all just a big joke to men, and they see women as "comfy, disposable pussies". I understand that men are emotionless and only want sex, but before I have hot sex with a man, I want to have had dated him for a while, know a few things about him, you know. Why do men have wives and girlfriends, if all women are just disposable pussies? Is any man who has a girlfriend, a total loser, because he isn't sleeping with a different woman every night? Have I got any chance of ever finding a partner? Should I sign up for Tinder, swipe right and left until the end of my life? Or should I just accept that I'm not good enough to be in a relationship? P. S. I'm 5 years single and celibate, I don't wear any sexy clothes, usually just a simple dress and heels, but nothing too revealing.
Should I look for a boyfriend or should I let him find me?
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