Would I be an a-hole if I left an Anonymous message to a guy telling him to check his girls phone?

Question

So I know this girls ex, in fact I love him. He's a very close friend of mine and we also have romantic history.
she's had a past of cheating on him by sleeping with other men and then kissing another old friend. He ended up breaking up with her but he took years to get over her. Throughout their relationship she was texting multiple men romantic and sexual things. He even ended up finding out that she had left her ex for him in the beginning of the relationship and was openly dating with him and telling him they were meant for each other when she had a man the whole time.

For the last few years she's been sending him texts about how much she loves him, and then organising dates and not following through. she's had a boyfriend the whole time, but even mentioned that she's "Not with him" when asked. Yet they're actually moving in together and bought a house.

She won't leave my friend alone, in the past he's blocked her number but always ended up unblocking after some time to see all these texts about how she never stopped loving him. She calls him honey as if they are still together. She did stop for a little while but recently she's started again and telling him she loves him.

I've honestly grown to despise this woman. I'm thinking of anonymously texting her man to check her texts or something. Im not a bad person, so i want to know if i should I be doing this.

Let me know if im just being petty

Updates:

10 mo

I dont know if I will follow through even if I do get a lot of votes to do it. Its a big thing to get involved in other peoples lives but when I heard she told him she loves him again, it made me very angry.

10 mo

I've decided I'm not going to do it. Its not really my style. I was very angry in the moment. But its none of my business. I'm sure someone will eventually bait her out, but it won't be me

Answer 1

designer1 | 84 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Xper 6

If you’re going to tell him, do it in person and to his face. As a friend, he deserves your honesty. It will suck to tell him and to see him hurt but you should do what you think is right. Don’t do it for the wrong reasons though. Make sure you tell him because you are purely doing what is best for him (and not for yourself).

React

Asker

10 mo
My friend is the ex, the current boyfriend is a stranger.
designer1

10 mo
Ohh I see now. Yeah I think u made the right decision in the end not to go through with it. It’s not worth it. Karma will get her eventually.
Asker

10 mo
Agreed

Answer 2

Asker

My friend is the ex, the current boyfriend is a stranger.

Answer 3

designer1

Ohh I see now. Yeah I think u made the right decision in the end not to go through with it. It’s not worth it. Karma will get her eventually.

Answer 4

Asker

Agreed

Answer 5

SnakeBoop | 600 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

I'm glad you realised this was posted in anger.
While I'm not sure you should do it, simply because where you have stated you like him, something about that and you doing it makes it iffy. Because half your need to seems to have been jealousy. I'm also confused on how you know all this information

I do however never condone cheating, so its hard to explain!
Honestly, I would get someone to tell him. Then its up to him.

React

Answer 6

LonelyDeer

Xper 3

I read your words and I challenge you to do it. I think of it as a type of moral obligation to tell someone they are being cheated on because it may be difficult for them to see it themselves. If you, perhaps, were being cheated on, would you not want an observer who knows to inform you even if you might not believe them?

React

Asker

10 mo
I definitely would, and I have decided its not morally wrong to do. But I honestly rather not put myself in these messy situations. It doesn't make me feel good to put someone else down, I dont get much of a boost and I rather not make decisions that I might regret later on.
Asker

10 mo
I didn't want to do it because I was worried for her current partner. I just wanted to put her in her place for messing with someone I care for.
LonelyDeer

10 mo
I don't really understand. Cheating is wrong, and if you *cared* about your friend I don't see why you wouldn't (anonymously) tell him. By not telling him, you very well could make that pain worse. She isn't a victim here; she is the one cheating. If anything, she *deserves* to feel bad/be held accountable. Do what you will, but I personally think it's wrong for you to do nothing.
Show All Show Less
Asker

10 mo
Ok I think I worded this terribly because your the second person thats confused.

I know the ex, not the current partner. she's still texting her ex, thats the guy I know.
LonelyDeer

10 mo
That is confusing, but do you truly have no compassion for a stranger who may not know his partner is cheating?
Asker

10 mo
I do have compassion but not enough to get myself directly involved. My friend (her ex) knew some of what she did here and there even when he didn't want to believe it, im assuming he's the same.

Answer 7

Asker

I definitely would, and I have decided its not morally wrong to do. But I honestly rather not put myself in these messy situations. It doesn't make me feel good to put someone else down, I dont get much of a boost and I rather not make decisions that I might regret later on.

Answer 8

Asker

I didn't want to do it because I was worried for her current partner. I just wanted to put her in her place for messing with someone I care for.

Answer 9

LonelyDeer

I don't really understand. Cheating is wrong, and if you *cared* about your friend I don't see why you wouldn't (anonymously) tell him. By not telling him, you very well could make that pain worse. She isn't a victim here; she is the one cheating. If anything, she *deserves* to feel bad/be held accountable. Do what you will, but I personally think it's wrong for you to do nothing.

Answer 10

Asker

Ok I think I worded this terribly because your the second person thats confused.

I know the ex, not the current partner. she's still texting her ex, thats the guy I know.

Answer 11

LonelyDeer

That is confusing, but do you truly have no compassion for a stranger who may not know his partner is cheating?

Answer 12

Asker

I do have compassion but not enough to get myself directly involved. My friend (her ex) knew some of what she did here and there even when he didn't want to believe it, im assuming he's the same.

Answer 13

S8nBam

Xper 4

I think the complication here is a conflict of interest.

If say you barely knew him, then yes knock your self out. But you have your own history, feelings, biases...

React

Answer 14

JustAnj

Xper 5

You could just talk to her directly and tell her to leave your friend alone. Maybe talk over with your friend as well and tell him you are going to approach her so she will leave him alone. Let her know that if she continues to harass and text your friend you will involve her current partner. This way it clear to her that her actions have consequences.

React

Answer 15

pleasestopthis | 1.4K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Honestly, if I had a close friend knowing about this, I'd really want them to tell me. Save him from this bitch. If he doesn't listen to you, then at least you showed him how she hasn't changed at all, and whatever goes wrong with his life is his entire resposibility.

React

Asker

10 mo
I'm not friends with her current boyfriend. I would have to do some digging to find his social media if I were going to go ahead with it.
pleasestopthis

10 mo
Oh, my mistake. Sorry. Then he would not have any reason to believe you, so it's better to not get involved.
Asker

10 mo
I was just planning on a random message from a throw away account to "Check his girlfriends (insert name here) texts for his own sake" I didn't give it much thought but I wasn't going to speak to him or go into detail. Plus, from her track record I wouldn't be surprised if he already had suspicions tbh.

Answer 16

Asker

I'm not friends with her current boyfriend. I would have to do some digging to find his social media if I were going to go ahead with it.

Answer 17

pleasestopthis

Oh, my mistake. Sorry. Then he would not have any reason to believe you, so it's better to not get involved.

Answer 18

Asker

I was just planning on a random message from a throw away account to "Check his girlfriends (insert name here) texts for his own sake" I didn't give it much thought but I wasn't going to speak to him or go into detail. Plus, from her track record I wouldn't be surprised if he already had suspicions tbh.

Answer 19

natured | 581 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

You seem to be very very very much into their bussines, and I think you can't wait for them to just split up so you can make your heroic entrance. I'm not judging you, but if a relationship is meant to be.
As a matter of fact, you have nothing to loose here but nothing to gain either, so you can send him the text also because it's anonymous, so why not?
Good luck
OH IF YOU DO SO let us know lol
-D-

React

1 Person

Answer 20

SuhRaw

Xper 1

Yes! Mind your business! I Do Not Get Involved In Domestic Affairs. At the end of the day they will be upset with you and they will still be together. Mind your business.

React

Answer 21

bobalife | 176 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Explorer

I understand why you wouldn't want to do it because I was in a similar position. However, if you did choose to tell her partner... you would be saving two guys from being torn over one toxic, unfaithful girl.

React

1 Person

Answer 22

Yourfriend2021 | 394 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Explorer

I think you would be saving your friend from an evil woman and at least you care about him.

React

Answer 23

ItsMeItsMe1989

Yoda

she's got realllllllly bad daddy issues. REALLY bad ones

React

Answer 24

Anonymous

jealous yes but also giving the right reasons because you think she's cheating again and looking to protect him makes sense

React

Answer 25

Jamie05rhs | 2.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

Dooo ittttt!!! Omg- that would be so great.

The universe will reward you, dear.

React

2 People

Answer 26

Aakash_Hangargi | 664 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Not ahole but a creep

React

Answer 27

Iron_Man | 8.6K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

No you’re showing him that she’s cheating on him

React

Answer 28

Anonymous

Yeah. But it's still funny.

React

Answer 29

Shamalien | 877 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Guru

Save this poor man from this evil witch’s spell

React

1 Person

Asker

10 mo
According to my friend she's "very sweet in person"
Shamalien

10 mo
Who gives a shit, what she’s doing is witchcraft

Answer 30

Asker

According to my friend she's "very sweet in person"

Answer 31

Shamalien

Who gives a shit, what she’s doing is witchcraft

Answer 32

TheSpaceGnome | 477 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

do it

React

Answer 33

In_Trance | 4K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

Yeah

React

Answer 34

Hotboy_booblover | 259 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

Nothing wrong with it

React

3 People

Hotboy_booblover

10 mo
2 dislikes.. lol😂

Answer 35

Hotboy_booblover

2 dislikes.. lol😂

Answer 36

feralmermaid

Xper 1

I wouldn't meddle

React

1 Person

Would I be an a-hole if I left an Anonymous message to a guy telling him to check his girls phone?

AI Bot Choice

Most Helpful Girl

Most Helpful Guys

What Girls & Guys Said

Related myTakes