Is it normal to date someone for seven months and not fall in love with them?

Question

My ex boyfriend broke up with me because he said he doesn’t know if he can ever love me. He said I love you three times while we were dating I was nervous because I felt a lot was riding on it and it was my first relationship. It’s been a month. He was helpful in my healing process. Finally cut ties with him but it’s heartbreaking. I wish he fought for us, I wish I didn’t reject him (he wanted to move in together after dating for 5 months but I never lived in my own before). I was scared! He said he didn’t know what the future would look like when I asked if we’d ever get back together. It’s been a minth of analyzing, being strong, moving on (dating) and I started to cry more this month but nothing seems to help. This is my first heartbreak and he promised me forever and was so serious besides the last month he became different I did to I lost my childhood cat (17years) I had a hard time… He also said he had to battle his demons but I think he might’ve jumped back into dating for a rebound. I want him back and told him but he said the only one who can change his mind is himself. I’m broken truthfully… What do I do?

Updates:

8 mo

Thank you! I needed those encouraging words

Answer 1

Anonymous

Keep doing what you’re doing: being strong and moving on. You can pick that relationship apart to death but I’m a believer in everything happening how it’s supposed to, and even tho you can’t see it right now, he may not have been the right person for you. Imagine having moved in with him then receiving this information, that would suck because you’d be stuck in a lease with him even if you’re not together. This is a clean break: no attachments, such as children, property, etc, and you were also graced with closure, for what it was worth. Some women just get ghosted after 7 months and are stuck trying to find closure for themselves. Anyway, if you’re meant to be together then you will surely find your way back to one another at some point.

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1 Person

bubblespopcorn

8 mo
I honestly hope so. Foolish thinking for a first love but I’m stubborn, independent and don’t love easy. He was the exception for me but maybe I wasn’t for him. In the beginning based on his words I was the exception too… You’re right no attachments that another reason why I wanted to wait out the honeymoon phase I have a secure attachment style and he had an anxiety one.

Thank you for your feedback. At least I’m making some headway in a shitty situation. Thank you for sharing your outlook with me
Opinion Owner

8 mo
You’re not foolish for feeling the way that you do, love. Breakups suck in general but first loves are just something else. I was “foolish” af with my first love, but I think a big part of it was that all my feelings were new to me and I was trying to navigate the emotions as I went. You are doing the same thing and handling it the best as you humanly can, so give yourself a bit of a break. Falling for him didn’t happen overnight, so getting over him won’t happen in the timeframe either. All you can do is work at it a little each day. I’m sure you have moments constantly where you question “if I did this or that would this have still been the outcome?’. My answer to that is yes, because his inability to love is not something that just happened, he’s been feeling that way and should’ve been transparent about it.
bubblespopcorn

8 mo
Thank you I needed those encouraging words!

Answer 2

bubblespopcorn

I honestly hope so. Foolish thinking for a first love but I’m stubborn, independent and don’t love easy. He was the exception for me but maybe I wasn’t for him. In the beginning based on his words I was the exception too… You’re right no attachments that another reason why I wanted to wait out the honeymoon phase I have a secure attachment style and he had an anxiety one.

Thank you for your feedback. At least I’m making some headway in a shitty situation. Thank you for sharing your outlook with me

Answer 3

Opinion Owner

You’re not foolish for feeling the way that you do, love. Breakups suck in general but first loves are just something else. I was “foolish” af with my first love, but I think a big part of it was that all my feelings were new to me and I was trying to navigate the emotions as I went. You are doing the same thing and handling it the best as you humanly can, so give yourself a bit of a break. Falling for him didn’t happen overnight, so getting over him won’t happen in the timeframe either. All you can do is work at it a little each day. I’m sure you have moments constantly where you question “if I did this or that would this have still been the outcome?’. My answer to that is yes, because his inability to love is not something that just happened, he’s been feeling that way and should’ve been transparent about it.

Answer 4

bubblespopcorn

Thank you I needed those encouraging words!

Answer 5

In_Trance | 4K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Master

i guess it is for some people

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Is it normal to date someone for seven months and not fall in love with them?

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