Should I say yes or no to my boyfriend?

My boyfriend purchased a ticket to come visit me a week from now. We have been in a LD relationship for over a year. I made it clear to him from the beginning that I desired more of a committment/ a marriage proposal. I regret that he seems to have no desire to get married yet he seems to expect my entire devotion, exclusive intimacy and friendship.

Now he says that he wants to come here ...again "work" on our relationship and get closer. He claims that will help "us" decide if I will meet his family for Thanksgiving...the last he told me he hadn't even asked his family if my daughter and I could join them.

I am so tired of waiting.. we are both 40! He claims because this is his first relationship, he has to be sure before he makes a committment. I sometimes feel as if he doesn't value me as a woman. I respect his desire to be certain prior to making a committment. He claims that because we have had arguments and I don't agree with things he's done ( for example, taking a great trip w/o even inviting me) with friends almost half his age.

More recently over a week went by that we didn't even text or email. When he finally did text me he asked me if I still wanted for him to come out. I must admit my desire to see him isn't as strong as it had been before I began to feel that he was hiding our relationship from his family and friends.

As the dayof his visit draws nearer , I struggle to recapture the feelings that I had for him when our love was at it's best! I've finally reached to a strong place and I could survive not ever seeing him again if he didn't come out this time. My greatest fear is getting close to him again and facing dissapointment. Nor do I want to expose my daughter to a man who has no plans of being more than a man who comes and goes in our home at his leisure with no plans of being more to either of us. I just wish I knew how to tell for sure...I really can't tell.


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What Guys Said 1

  • That's right you really can't tell. Ask yourself isn't worth it, I think you answered that already.

    • Yesterday I told him honestly that I didn't think we are compatable or that we are going to work. I told him that although I love him &feel he loves me too its just not enough. The past hurt & although I forgave him, its hard for forget. He told me today that his sister said I am welcome to come out for TG dinner, now it doesn't mean as much to me, I should have been welcome before, by him. I told him I didn't want him to waste his money & he could still come visit as friends..

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