Am I making it too much of a big deal that my boyfriend isn't romantic?

Question

Its almost our one year relationship and no matter how much

I hint and talk to him about how much I want more romance

in our relationship it seems like he would rather not. My

definition of romance isn't extreme like bringing me flowers

everyday on a white stallion. All I ask from him is that he

could hug me more and kiss me like he loves me. Sometimes

i can't help but worry that he's just not into me. his hugs

include a one arm frendly hug and his kisses are a little peck

on the lips. I keep my teeth really clean with brush and floss

and I'm not unattractive! so I don't understand it. but when it

comes down to sex he still doesn't step it up. I've had a fb and

our sex feels exactly like that! very unconnected and just lots

of dirty talk. I'm OK with a good f* and dirty talk but not all the

time. I don't know how many times I've talked about more

passion in our relationship but it always turns out the same.

he asks well what do I need to do? and I tell him what I want

and how I want it but its always the same. And he definitely

isn't OK with kissing in public. I've never had problems with

guys not wanting to caress my body all day ( not to sound cocky) but what he tells me was in all of his relationships, and he has had quite a few, have only wanted sex. He is not comfortable with pda or even romance in our own home. Its just getting to the point to where is frustrating especially during sex. Is there something I need to say to him or something I am doing wrong? I love him and I want it to work but I need to feel loved. I want the hugs, kisses, compliments, and cuddles. Please help

Answer 1

animalwithin | 74 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

I'm going to speak my mind here and tell you to leave the guy and find someone better, seriously. It sounds like he clearly isn't into treating you the way you want to be treated nor is he even making an effort to show you his love for you or how special you are. I mean you're doing the best you can to be honest wih how you want to be treated and he still isn't changing. I think you're just left with telling him how you really feel (tell him what youve told us) and if he doesn't take it properly or shows he wants to stay and make things better, leave the guy immediately. You're not wrong in any way, a relationship is supposed to be full of love and romance. It is possible he may have just lost interest over time (it does happen often to many couples), it sucks but it says nothing about you so don't let him bring you down. Be honest and upfront with him about how you feel an what you want, if he can't accommodate that, you deserve someone better.

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Answer 2

Frostie

Xper 7

i can solve this problem just stop by some time.. *jokes*.. as far as advice goes, he doesn't seem like the passionate type.. that's just who he is. That's what it sounds like. Personalities don't change. Its up to you if you can deal with that or not.

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2 People

heartless95

+1 y
Haha! Why wasn't this chosen as the best answer!

Answer 3

heartless95

Haha! Why wasn't this chosen as the best answer!

Answer 4

SoCk3t_PoCk3tZ | 144 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yoda

I don’t think you’re making a big deal that your boyfriend isn’t romantic. Romance is what you want in a relationship and every girl has that list of what they want to see in their man. I do however think that the guy you are with now isn’t openly affectionate and if there’s no change in the relationship now I don’t think there will be any time soon. You can’t change who he is, as much as you might want to.

What I think you need to do is rethink your relationship with him. Are you truly happy in the relationship you have? How do you see yourself with him in the long run?

If you aren't happy and he doesn't give you the love you want him to, he isn't the one for you.

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3 People

Answer 5

toulouse

Xper 7

your relationship, is lacking basic affection its not about romance, he's just sort of detached.

are you caking it romance are is he. because it sounds like a copout. to call it romance, as tho you're demanding something special. he's just cold.

It sounds like you guys have very different attachment styles. but right now, the relationship, caters to HIS.

i don't think hell ever be comfortable with what you want. what you want is not at all extreme.

i think if you stay you will feel used& miserable. id dump him.

or get him to compromise. but still ull both be half uncomfortable.

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2 People

lovemeholdme21

+1 y
Exactly! Very detached! It just isn't getting any better either. Its crossed my mind a few times to break it off with him but I can't help but love him. He's basically a fantastick super sexy friend but we actually made a relationship out of it. Id hate to break up with him if I thought there might be a chance at saving what we have and getting better

Answer 6

lovemeholdme21

Exactly! Very detached! It just isn't getting any better either. Its crossed my mind a few times to break it off with him but I can't help but love him. He's basically a fantastick super sexy friend but we actually made a relationship out of it. Id hate to break up with him if I thought there might be a chance at saving what we have and getting better

Answer 7

ChristaYoko

Xper 5

Sounds like you need to move on girl! You need a guy that wants to pleasure you, a guy that respects you, listens, helps and cares for you. Obviously, you should do the same for him :) but in your case right now, just either take a break or move on completely. You should be happy in a relationship. Sure relationships have their ups and downs but you guys have been dating for a year and he still is acting like this?! Mmmumm Hell no. Baby it is time to get the Hell up out of there and go find a new guy.

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Answer 8

Shazam

Xper 6

Try to make things more personal and intimate. Deeper conversations, cuddling. Hehe. Maybe you have to strengthen your connection. Find out more about one another. Make him feel special, sneak up on him in public. If he's into you, he shouldn't resist and return the gesture. He could also not be touchy feel-y. You can be romantic and see how he takes it. If you feel under appreciated, that could be a problem for the relationship.

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1 Person

lovemeholdme21

+1 y
@Shazam I really have tried! I've tried all the affection I have and little to no affection. He doesn't mind the cuddling at home but just not in public. And when I do cuddle with him he just sorta sitts there like letting me get comfortable and then asks if I want to go to the room. I don't know what else I can do

Answer 9

lovemeholdme21

@Shazam I really have tried! I've tried all the affection I have and little to no affection. He doesn't mind the cuddling at home but just not in public. And when I do cuddle with him he just sorta sitts there like letting me get comfortable and then asks if I want to go to the room. I don't know what else I can do

Answer 10

NonchalantBro | 158 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Explorer

It sounds like he just isn't naturally an affectionate and romantic person. Expecting him to change what comes natural to him won't work imo.

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Answer 11

InvisibleKid

Xper 2

Oh the drama...

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2 People

Am I making it too much of a big deal that my boyfriend isn't romantic?

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