I've got too much pride. How do I talk to her again?

Long story short, I was friends with a girl for almost six years. She was my best friend and we had a huge fight. She was going through this wild life phase and she was pretty much neglecting our friendship. She wouldn't invite me out place, she never called me, and she started to just fool around with random guys because her boyfriend just dumped her after almost three years. She was wrong. I was wrong too because I didn't confront her about it until I couldn't take it anymore. I ignored her and then blew up on her after she told me she didn't know what was going on (she was ALWAYS clueless whenever we fought).

Anyway, I told her to basically eat sh*t and never speak to me again. It's been six months and we haven't made any contact. I've been thinking it over and I think I want to be friends again. I don't have a best friend and it's weird. I don't know if this is a post-break up kinda thing (lol) but it gets pretty sad sometimes. I just have too much pride to contact her because I know I was right (mutual friends agree), but maybe I was a little rash in the way I ended things...?

Idk, what should I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • That's just the thing, you weren't right. Neither was she. Blowing up on your best friend is not what a best friend should do. From what you've written, it doesn't seem like you even tried to help her, you just kept getting more and more frustrated until you unleashed WWIII on her. The fact you're still hung up on this idea of being "right" shows me you too are clueless. She was hurting, she made bad decisions, you recognized those were bad decisions, and instead of trying to help her with them, you blew up at her. And, in the end, those "bad" decisions are only bad because you THINK they're bad, it's a matter of opinion. To her, at that time, those decisions probably weren't bad, and you had no right to tell her they were, instead what you should have done was be there for her, listen to her, and suggest alternatives. Sometimes confronting a person like you did can be helpful, but it sounds like you didn't do it to be helpful, you did it to release steam.

    The only thing that matters now is whether or not you miss her, whether or not you want to talk to her, hang out with her, and try and patch things up. If so, then you need to contact her, because in this world we don't often get second chances and you'll regret for the rest of your life if you let this one go.

    • I actually was there for her through a lot of the sh*t she was going through. I was up til five and six in the morning with her, listening to her cry over her jerk of a ex even though I had work at 9 in the morning. I was the one who got her out the house after months of staying inside. I got her hair cut and took her shopping and partying once in a while to get the life back in her. she started to get a big head when I was encouraging her and building her self-esteem. she was suddenly too cool

    • Show All
    • I guess I can do that...ugh. LOL I really need to get over the fact that I'm doing this first, but I know her and even if she's dying to speak to me, she won't because I was so angry when we stopped talking, so she's scared. thanks for the advice!

    • No problem.

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