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I’m a Seventh-day Adventist (SDA) Christian and have been my whole life. SDAs are more conservative than most Christians because our Sabbath is on Saturday, we follow the health laws in Leviticus 11, and we believe that the dead are just sleep, among other things.
My parents raised me to be the “chosen one” and expect me to marry an SDA woman. I used to think I was entitled to certain girls in the church because I am so “good”. That’s not right because no one is perfect. My sister lost her virginity and dates men outside the church. My parents have demonized her. No sin is worse than another. I’m sick of this “holier than thou” thinking. Some of the women in church act like they’re entitled to me too, even if they had rejected me in the past.
I’m torn because I still believe in Jesus and most of the SDA doctrine. I just don’t like the attitude and arrogance of some of the members. I don’t want to raise my future children around such negativity. I haven’t had much success inside the church and I want to date out. I’ve been on dating apps, but I don’t get many matches. Most girls ghost me.
I’m afraid of dating out because I fear that my partner won’t have the same foundation. Dating is hard enough and explaining my religion on top of that will be challenging for sure.
Another issue I have is that most girls in the SDA churches in my area are much older than me, like 5-10 years. The closest girl in age to me is 2 years younger, but she’s dating a guy 12 years older than her.
Should I wait around for an SDA girl to come along that’s close to my age? Should I settle for an older woman in the church? Or should I keep up with my plan to date out and risk offending my parents and other church members?
My parents raised me to be the “chosen one” and expect me to marry an SDA woman. I used to think I was entitled to certain girls in the church because I am so “good”. That’s not right because no one is perfect. My sister lost her virginity and dates men outside the church. My parents have demonized her. No sin is worse than another. I’m sick of this “holier than thou” thinking. Some of the women in church act like they’re entitled to me too, even if they had rejected me in the past.
I’m torn because I still believe in Jesus and most of the SDA doctrine. I just don’t like the attitude and arrogance of some of the members. I don’t want to raise my future children around such negativity. I haven’t had much success inside the church and I want to date out. I’ve been on dating apps, but I don’t get many matches. Most girls ghost me.
I’m afraid of dating out because I fear that my partner won’t have the same foundation. Dating is hard enough and explaining my religion on top of that will be challenging for sure.
Another issue I have is that most girls in the SDA churches in my area are much older than me, like 5-10 years. The closest girl in age to me is 2 years younger, but she’s dating a guy 12 years older than her.
Should I wait around for an SDA girl to come along that’s close to my age? Should I settle for an older woman in the church? Or should I keep up with my plan to date out and risk offending my parents and other church members?
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