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ROFL cute but deadly
just because people don't like or love something doesn't always make it valuable or worthless. We must not value ourselves with the love of others. Being purpose is in your hands.
@Deepsilence a personal feeling of "worth" is not independend of outside validation. We cam derive a certain feeling of value from within, but without a respective feedback from the outside, we can not maintain that feeling. and the feedback we get back is always assessed internally, which can have certain biases.the real question is: how do you determine for yourself that you're valuable or worthless? how do you determine that what you do is your purpose? how do you determine that you're good enough?i was just being overly dramatic by the way :D it was supposed to be funny but since you actually went deep into the topic, let's go there together ^^
I'm having similar feelings, and I told you what I told myself..
@Deepsilence sorry, i don't seem to remember that conversation off the top of my head xD
Am I aimless? no, I have a very long-term goal. so how do I determine if I'm valuable? You're right people's love or knowing they need you can make you feel valuable. and if there is no need or love, does it mean that I am worthless?
(sorry, i don't seem to remember that conversation off the top of my headl) what?
@Deepsilence i didn't speak about aimlessness. i'm speaking about purpose. having a goal and reaching that goal, doesn't mean you have purpose. it means you were successful at reaching a goal.it doesn't mean you're worthless. the question is how do you determine that you're not worthless, given the situation. or in other words, how do you feel like you're lovable, if nobody ever loves you?
"I'm having similar feelings, and I told you what I told myself.." i didn't know what that meant. i thought you were referring to another conversation.
do you think trying to be a good person is the goal? why am I valuable? all people are valuable. what we do makes us valuable or worthless.
@Deepsilence i think trying to be a good person is a good goal but i don't know how to determine how successfull i am in that goal.i think all people have "some value" but i don't think that all those values are good, making not every person good. it seems like "valuable and worthless" is a spectrum and i just don't know how to determine where i am on that spectrum. the metrics i use, seem to push me more to the "worthless" side xD
the words you use and your views are different. May I ask What Department did you graduate from? psychology?
@Deepsilence social science. but i had as much psychology classes, as the curriculum allowed. how are my words different? what any specific words or just how i talk? :D
do you want to be praised? your words bring with them new multifaceted concepts. it requires parsing to understand.(logical and in place.) psychology and philosophy add a lot to a person.
@Deepsilence do you happen to be a psychologist? :D no i don't want praise. i want validation in the form of a mutually loving partner and as it stands i could never manage to get that. i have friends that i love. i have family, that i love and those are good qualities to have on the "good to worthless" spectrum, however everyone around me seems to have a girlfriend or at least had relationships before, why i seemingly can't find that. so that's the metric that pushes my self evaluation to the "worthless side" and i can't just ignore that. telling myself i'm beautiful and lovable seems like a delusion, as the facts seem to indicate otherwise.
isn't family love enough to feel valued? It's a situation right now, when you have a girlfriend, are you going to get value? A Muslim doesn't have a lover until he gets married.(true Muslim). It's loyalty to your future wife. Should someone like that feel worthless?
@Deepsilence well the love of your family and the love of friends is valuable validation that i do book on the plus side of things. however wouldn't you agree that "not being romantically/sexually liked" would be vastly different?and in fact yes, i do think that would change a lot. it is not that i need to feel sexually or romantically attractive to someone at all times and feel worthless once i'm in a situatio where i'm not loved like that. knowing that you "can" be that generally speaking is however in my opinion important and since i have no precidence of that happening, i don't feel that.
Girlfriend situation is different, of course. a person can feel incomplete. where is this going? change the subject if you want. or let the conversation end here.
@Deepsilence no idea where to go from here :D i'm not forcing anyone to talk to me. was nice talking to you tho :)
I didn't say you forced him to talk. I mean, maybe you'd like to talk about something different. thanks.
@Deepsilence yeah :D i did ask, if you're a psychologist or something. are you?
No i was wish. I'm a graduate of oral and dental health. But I'm thinking of studying philosophy.
@Deepsilence ah philosophy is really not all that interesting to study. it can be as boring as programming at times, cause you do a lot with logic. the interesting part is studying the classic philosophic litterature and you can do that on your own :D psychology is really exciting tho :D cause you learn how humans work. but i have to warn you xD learning that can make you a bit unhappy.
The truth is pain. philosophy teaches thinking. do you want to explain the bitter side?
@Deepsilence well let's say you have an argument about a topic with someone. and i bet you know exactly the situation, where you just can not find any common ground and it gets somewhat aggressive and unpleasant.to me it is somewhat easier to deal with that, not understanding what's going on. that to me feels better than exactly knowing what is going on and not being able to resolve the situation anyway, cause human minds are so damn stubborn. it's like they run programs, that you can't stop...seing those programs run and not being able to do anything is so infuriating.
Wow, that explains some things.
@Deepsilence minds are weird things xD
I'm gonna tell you something? I hate people who don't care. and I hate caring about people. I'm tired of trying to understand them all the time. of course, they don't know that because they're vampires. they just absorb your happiness and energy. I'm really bored. Has nothing to do with you. I think I'll publish it as a question here. just wanted to tell this
@Deepsilence yeah some people are energy vampires. gotta keep them at an arms distance. it's good that you notice that happening. you need to think of your attention and care a bit like a currency. you can't be giving infinitely without getting something back.
Nevermind, is there a book you'd suggest I read?
@Deepsilence the collected works of sigmund freud is recommendable.