I was baptised as a baby and had my first communion but never went through my confirmation. Faith was never an integral part of my life so naturally I became agnostic and borderline atheist. I've always suffered with mental illness and never felt like I belonged anywhere. A part of me thinks that I'm just trying to use this as a way to cope with my current condition. The thing I like about the church is the history and traditions but I'm not sure if I actually believe in it or I'm just trying to convince myself of something. I guess I just want to find meaning in this life. I don't know if I'm fit for organized religion or not.
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I think for now I'm just going to keep reading more about christianity and later come up with my own conclusions. Thanks for the advice! :-)