Search Results: settling down

Is it selfish and unjustified to turn someone down because they werent attractive enough? Or is it a necessary requirement to be physically attracted to your romantic partner to a sufficient level? What if your potential partner is a 5-6/10? Is this good enough for you, or would you be settling? Some say looks will fade so it doesn't matter in the end, but others would like to keep their standards. What about you? Have you been on the giving or receiving ends of this judgement? Both? Comment below.

My story: I have only ever "dated" one girl and I reciprocated her feelings out of fear of making her sad. We never met in person but we sent eachother things via mail. Without realizing it, I was effectively leading her on to believe I liked her back even though I didn't really feel any genuine love. It got to the point where I asked her to be my girlfriend, but in the same day I told her the truth and why I hid it. She sent me a song, it was "Letters" by Seneca B. I felt so guilty afterwards because she was such a nice and sweet girl and didn't deserve that. I cried a lot. It's honestly taken me longer to recover than her since she's already over it. Part of me wants to believe I was justified, and part of me says I was in the wrong. She said she still wants to be friends since we had a good connection to eachother besides the failed relationship. And while I agreed for a while, I couldn't sustain it. I felt heavy guilt to the point where it was interfering with my studies. I sent her a long text a few days ago telling how I felt and why I was blocking her. I don't know what to think. I have mixed feelings. I guess I'm just inexperienced and I've learned my lesson. Looking to read other's opinions and experiences as feedback.

Me and my girlfriend have been serious for a long time now, almost 3 years. Recently she's been interested more and more in feminism, joining groups and reading up on feminist issues on Reddit. I haven't really had an issue with it until now. Our lives are pretty much perfect, I have a well paying job on the internet that allows me to be home and she's a stay at home girlfriend. A few nights ago we were talking about getting married, settling down, having children and thinking up names for our future children when she said that she doesn't want to take my surname because it's some kind of patriarchal sign of ownership. She's known for a while now that it's important to me that my wife and children take my surname, I'm the only son in my family so I'm the only one who can keep my family name alive and I don't want us to have different surnames. I equate taking my surname as important to me as the wedding ring is for her (she's not a gold digger but she's been planning her wedding since she was like 10, part of those plans is a nice ring she can show off to her friends). I don't think this is big enough to break up but if she continues with this, I'm not going to get her a wedding ring because according to a number of sources wedding rings are also a symbol of ownership if she wants to be like that.