Search Results: nervous during kiss

My best friend and I took a stab at "dating." We were just in the same city for 2 weeks. We'd always been able to spend all day (and night) with each other. During these two weeks we got pretty cozy. Stayed up all night sunset to sunrise cuddling, massaging, talking about life, traveling etc. At one point he told me I could kiss him. I wasn't sure if he was looking for friends with benefits or if he was just scared. He's never had a girlfriend. I really liked him though and I was wayyy too nervous to kiss him.

I eventually went back to my respective location and 2 weeks later he said he just wanted me, was just using me because it was convenient and that he was just lonely and wanted to know what it was like to have a girlfriend. Naturally, this made me not want him in my life. Who uses their best friend? But honestly, when we were together, I really didn't think he didn't like me... it totally seemed like he did! So finally, 1.5 years later, we aren't really speaking anymore. I told him that he hurt me too badly and that spending time together just isn't the same. He's written me letters about how much me loves me as a person and as a friend and he feels like a huge jerk... but nothing takes back what he did. He even named a love song after me 2 months ago and then took it back and said that it was the way he thought I felt about him.

As of now, I am happier without him, but I can't help to wonder if I made a bad decision. I know this guy, he isn't an evil d-bag. The guy that I know wouldn't do something like that. So what do I do? Go back and try to be friends again? Try to forget it and be friends? Or keep being friends that don't talk to each other? It's like we almost dated, but didn't? but he still says he was using me?