Search Results: verbally abusive relationship

My father and I have had issues in our relationship for a long time. He had falsely accused me of domestic violence twice out of anger and spite. The most recent charges where dismissed on Tuesday. While I was dealing with the courts (it took one year), my father's behavior didn't change. He was emotionally, verbally, and physically abusive and threatened to call the police on me every time he was mad at me. He knows that I'm the one with domestic violence dismissals in my record and that he can make a third happen if he wanted to. He's an alcoholic and loses self-control when he's drunk.

Tuesday night, I asked him how he could do this to me. I was hoping all year that he would tell the district attorney the truth, but he never did. He got angry with me when I told him that he betrayed me and then he threatened to call the police again.

We had a session with the family therapist on Wednesday. I told her about his threats and he showed no remorse. The family therapist told him that based on what she's seen, he is battering me and that she's concerned for my safety because no matter what happens, I'll most likely be arrested if the police are called again. She said that she's only comfortable working with us if I move out. She says it's an ethical thing and that she wants to ensure my safety. She says that if I don't move out, she'll continue working with my father, but not me and him together.

People say "just move out" like it's easy to do. I have no resources and no family to help me. While I know that I'm unsafe living with my father, I'm also unsafe living homeless. I think that her trying to force me to move out is extremely unprofessional and that her role is to help us - not force me to become homeless. Am I justified in feeling this way?

Pros:

-Loving

-Caring

-Wants to have a relationship with God

-Cares deeply for me

-Committed to me

-Left his family for me

-Made plans to marry me and take care of me

-We have history

-He is funny

-Makes me feel safe

-Protective

-Does a lot for me regarding buying me food or movie tickets

-We know each other very well

-He is open with me

-He respects me

-He takes care of me to the best of his ability

-Nice to me

-He makes me feel better when he is around

-Sometimes he comes to me and makes me feel better when I am down

-He is a very good shoulder to cry on

-He is good with kids and good at keeping them happy

-I have been with him for almost 2 years now (known him for 3)

-We are engaged and have been engaged for a few months now

-We have done many firsts together (but we have not had sex yet)

-he loves me for me

-I am deeply in love with him and have never cared about anyone more

Cons:

-can be very negative

-Religious (wants me to be a Lutheran- I don't mind, but he is chained to it and a slave to it)

-Can’t handle stress (recently he tried to kill himself because he had too much pressure)

-Needs help in what he does- dependent

-Doesn’t keep his word

-Suicidal

-Temper

-Manipulative

-No initiative

-Can be verbally abusive

-Can be tormenting and mean

-His attitude is based off of his circumstances

-Sometimes when I want him to come find me and make everything alright he doesn’t and I have to go find him to fix whatever is wrong

-He doesn’t do ‘out of his way’ nice gestures, like buying me flowers, etc. and he never did

-When I get upset about something not involving him he thinks I’m mad at him

-Talks the talk and doesn't walk the walk (or keep his word at times)

-the way he proposed to me was not gentlemanly. he purposefully made me angry all day long so that I wouldn't suspect anything, and he proposed to me while we were fighting

-his family does not accept me and slanders me, despite him leaving them he allows them to do so

and just to clear things up, these are the traits/actions of a SO. I described a male but it could be a female I guess.