Search Results: afraid to commit

Ok, I don't mean if you're already happily married or something, but imagine there was a girl with whom you felt ideal and she was near-perfect and everything, you trusted her and she understood you the best, she appreciated your little weirdnesses, she was the first girl to whom you opened yourself. She was also very beautiful and smart and fun, kind, trustworthy. But you chickened out and gave up on her even before there was something between you two because you were afraid of a relationship and didn't want to commit. But you still wanted to talk to her so much, at least for some first months. Would she ever mean nothing to you or would you always have some unfinished business or a "thing" for her?

I met this guy online and we have been talking for eight months now. We didn't officially meet in person until five months after talking online. We have been seeing each other for three months now. He texts me everyday and is always the one to call me. We live an hour and a half away from each other and I always drive up to see him. He asks me often to come see him but when ever I ask him to drive to my town instead he always gives me an excuse. He has only drove to see me once. I like him but what bothers me is that he won't commit to me and won't make the effort to drive to see me. He said he wants to commit but is afraid that he will break up and hurt me because he may not fall in love. He is a really good man and always pays for everything when we go out and if I need a favor he will do it and always initiates contact. I like him but I don't want to stay with him hoping that things may change. What should I do? Should I stay or leave?

Today I just felt the fear of losing my fiancé.
Yesterday, I wanted to commit suicide. When I have suical thoughts I feel stronger and braver. I never felt fear at all. But when I think about getting older and what comes after death scares me. Because I will lose all the people I love. I will lose all the memories I had with this person. Now, I want to make the best out of it. More happiness less negativity.