Search Results: normal to get jealous

As you guys know I have two siblings. My little sister who is 12 and my older sister who is 29.


To make this short my older sister grew up in wealth. When she was my age my parents bought her a house, a car and gave her an allowance. She didn't have to work or pay for anything and my parents spoiled her rotten. My little sister never got to be spoiled or anything... Me and my little sister have little to nothing saved up for our futures. When they did have money to spare it always went to my older sister... My parents lost all their wealth and a few years later my older sister was able to get a job that gave her free lunch and basically a free fucking car and when she quit she had nothing saved up... She even had a great boyfriend who paid half the rent while they lived together... My older sister literally had everything in life handed to her and it pisses me off so bad that now me and my little sister work for everything we have...

My little sister is a freelance cartoon artist, and I am currently a freelance writer. Ironically we both have an obsession with homosexuality. She draws dudes kissing and I write about dudes fu! cking and domestic violence and she looks almost identical to me, people even mistake her as me sometimes lol but is it bad I'm so jealous over this?

So me and this boy (I’ll call him Josh) were talking for a few months then a week after that we started drifting, but then one day he FaceTimed me and we never did that before. So I answered and we talked a lot, and it went from FaceTiming once a week to everyday. One day we Fted while his cousin was over and he was pretty chill. Keep in mind that josh told me that he tells his cousin everything. Anyways his cousin thought we were dating and occasionally he left the room saying “I’ll leave you two alone...” and “you guys would make a cute couple” and at one point he asked if i thought josh was cute and i said “he’s ok” but when josh’s cousin asked josh, he said “yeah I think she’s cute”. In our classes together he started sitting besides me too. St the time I gave up on my crush bc I felt it was better we be friends. then yesterday, he called me names like honey and coupley names and I responded cuz ik he won’t call anyone else honey, and then My friend got so shocked he’s like “YALL ARE DATING WHAT” and we’re like “noo” and then I caught a little bit of feelings again... after school tho we fted like normal and at one point we talked about crushes (another usual topic on our calls) and he said he misses his ex (my cousin) and that he started to like a girl in our school. So then I assumed I was in the friend zone and we started talking about hot celebrities n he was fanboying over Ariana grande (it was nothing new so I was used to it) which made me lowkey jealous but anyways, I never told him about my celebrity crushes so I started to tell him about them and he got really quiet, stopped showing his face to the camera, then he just ended the call... in that situation it felt like it was jealous but I don't know. We even talked about our dating standards to each other and even though he had a really long list, most of the requirements actually applied to me. So I’m a bit conflicted? Does he like me or no?

I guess this is kind of a vent, but do you ever resent having a severe, chronic illness?
I resent it because it has pretty much destroyed my life. I get kind of jealous of
people who have normal lives because I try so hard and so many things are always out of my reach.
I do everything I can to stay stable and live the life I want, but I can't control some things.
People judge me for my lack of achievement, but they don't know my life or my struggle..
Sometimes I blame God...
I fear amounting to nothing in my life.