Search Results: older brother issues

This year I have been getting close to a friend of mind. I've known her for over a year, but it feels like it's only in the last couple months that we've really gotten to know each other. We're pretty close now, and I trust her a whole lot considering my trust issues and just generally how I am with people.

Unfortunately for me, over the course of approximately the last month or so, I've developed feelings for her brother, who is a couple years older than us and a senior this year. She's already told me about her feelings for someone, but any crush that I might have never came up.

On one hand, I want to be open with her about my feelings for her brother, the same way she's been honest with me. However, her brother seems to be a touchy subject, and from past conversations I've gotten the feeling that she's used to having people like her brother more than her. So although I want to just have it out in the open, on the other hand, I'm afraid she'll be mad or hurt; think I like him more than her, or that I'd choose him over her, which isn't true.

Should I just come out with it and tell her, or just leave it be? It almost feels like a secret I'm keeping, but I don't know what her reaction will be.

**possible trigger warning**
I've been through a lot of crap in my life that I'd rather like to forget (haven't we all after a few decades, though?). As a very young child I began to suffer physical and emotional abuse at the hands of my own family. My older brother, who was supposed to be my protector, beat me every day from the time I was 6 until I was 15. I'm not talking about hair-pulling and teasing. I'm talking about countless black eyes, busted lips, bruises everywhere, a dislocated jaw (3 times), and several occurances of pissing blood. It was so bad that everyday was a waking nightmare spent in fear of the next time a fist comes hurtling down into my face or stomach or back. No one gave a damn. My parents were never there and when they were they were beating my a** as well (belts, wire coat hangers, extension cords and one very memorable experience of having a skateboard flung at my head). They were supposed to protect me and didn't seem to see a problem with having a child that's face is constantly black and blue. At 12 I suffered year long sexual abuse (rape, sodomy) from a family friend that was living with us. I was screwed up. I didn't even know for a long time that this wasn't how all families acted. When I got away at 15 I had such a hard time dealing with it all that I tried to commit suicide and was institutionalized for a little while to keep from hurting myself. But that was a long time ago. About 16 years, anyway. I still suffer from PTSD and major trust issues but my life is better than it ever has been. I have a family (husband, kids) and they are my life. They saved me from myself, in a way.
I heard recently (from an in-law) that people who go through things like that are damaged and basically worthless. That we all end up as drug addicts or prostitutes or abusers ourselves. It made me very upset because I am none of these things. I've tried very hard to be a decent person and leave my past in the past.
Do you think that I am an exception to this? Is it really that impossible to be a good person after all of that? Anything you'd have to say, I'd like to hear. Any comments will be much appreciated.

These two boys tried to kill their parents.

"Georgia parents Yvonne and Zachery Ervin say they are standing by the sons who allegedly drugged and brutally attacked them.

“Our kids had one bad moment,” Zachery Ervin told ABC News in an interview.

“We communicated to them that we love them unconditionally, we told them we forgive them,” he added. “We told them, as always, whenever there’s an issue, there’s going to be consequences, whether you do good or bad.”

The sons – Christopher, 22, and Cameron, 17 – allegedly attacked their parents, and police say, attempted to burn down their suburban Atlanta home Sept. 5.

Police visited the Snellville home to find Zachery Ervin stabbed and covered in blood. The 50-year-old reportedly told police that his son hit him on the head with a shotgun."

Despite all this, they decided to forgive the boys, and they hope the court will show them mercy in prosecuting them. If your kids tried to kill you, would you forgive them? Why or why not?

read more here: Attacked parents