Search Results: play it cool and just be myself

Quick background, I have been in an on again off again hook up with a guy for 5 years. We first started hooking up while he was on a break with a girlfriend. When they got back together he would still come over for hours, but wouldn't sleep with me. At one point she got pregnant and he invited me over to vent about how she was behaving. Still no sex. The baby was born premature. He came around and I really got to see his emotional side. I left him alone at this point cause it was just too much. Later he finds out the kid isn't his. He comes around again. And our hook ups continue. I told him my feelings I had for him. ( I am good about separating feelings from sex, but the fact that he came to me when he was down and all the conversations we had I can't help it!) He is now going back to school and taking care of himself. I asked him one day what he wanted in a woman and everything he said described me! I told him this and he told me " don't mess up what we have". What does this mean? I have been trying to cool it with him and let him build himself up. I have a lot going for myself so I figured maybe he wanted to be on the same level. Recently I made him realize how long we have been seeing each other. He invited me to his new place. He tells me he is on his "grown man shit" and shows me around. Then we had some crazy next level rough sex. Something we have never done before. Then he goes cold. I haven't lived in the same city in 2 years yet we still connect. I can't tell if I'm just a safety net, or if he has feelings and just needs time to get himself straight or what. I'm trying to play it cool but I definitely don't wanna end up looking like boo boo the fool pining over him! I'd love your honest thoughts and opinions.

I met this guy while on an overseas workshop. He's basically from the partnering company that this program has paired up with for us to work on projects aka client. During his 1st session w us, he stared intently at me with a hint of smile on his face. I was self conscious and kinda intimidated so I looked away. Albeit nonchalantly as I wanted to play it cool. Throughout his speech, he was looking everywhere but my direction. Pretty intentional. The next session when we were about to present to him, I was late for the introductory speech and walked to my seat sheepishly. He saw me and had a smile on his face. He looked at me pretty often but I didn't meet his gaze. When it was my team's turn, I noticed him glancing my way while someone else was presenting. As you woulda expect, I was a bundle of nerves when my turn came. I was pretty bad at the beginning w him and all that eye contact. But I smoothed it all out towards the end. Defo not my finest moment. During the feedback session, he looked more at me rather than at the grp and looked me in the eye and said my part was well presented and he liked it. I was dumbfounded but... I kinda get the vibe that he's attracted to me so should I act on it? He's halfway across the world now but I could fb him. He travels often and I could too. Side note: there's an age gap between us (8 Years) & I was sort of like a student intern then so there were no chances of personal interaction. Would have acted on it then if I were not that intimidated and if circumstances were not so formal! Thoughts? Is he attracted or would I be making a fool out of myself?