Search Results: play it cool and just be myself

So a few months ago, I got out of my first relationship. It ended really badly, to say the least. I wanted out for nearly month before we broke up. However, I was a pushover and let her convince me to stay with her and be unhappy. Fair warning: this is a long one.

Since that relationship ended I've been assessing the girls around me looking for a potential date. I kept having the problem of finding a cute girl with an awful personality (a definite no-go) or a cute girl who doesn't necessarily have a bad personality, but maybe isn't interested in the same things that I am, or isn't very smart.

About a month and a half ago I met a girl who met all the basic prerequisites that I look for: attractive, similar interests, intelligent. She was basically awesome, and I immediately took a liking to her. Just as I was about to ask her out I found out she was taken. That hit me like a freight train, especially when I found out that the couple is pretty committed. I was disappointed, but whatever, I got over it. I still wanted to find a girl that was girlfriend material.

Then everything changed. Well, nothing really changed, I just realized how things really were. Last night I went to a party. I'm in high school - I've been to parties before. But this is the new years eve party, thus putting it on another level.

I got wasted. Well, pretty wasted. I'm still together, but I've never been that drunk before. During this party I found myself on the floor of the bathroom at this chicks house, waiting to puke, and talking to one of the coolest dudes I know. We'll call him Jeff.

Jeff is smart, plays the six-string in a sweet band, and gets the ladies. He's also great to talk to. But he has lady troubles to. But his are the opposite of mine: he doesn't want commitment.

It was there on the floor of that bathroom that I realized that I'm in high school. I've got raging hormones and decades ahead of me. Why do I need to settle down? I'm not going to know any of this chicks in a couple years!

My intentions, obviously, have changed. I no longer seek commitment, but rather enjoyment. Does this make me a douche bag? Our friend Jeff isn't a douche bag is he? I know for a fact that he lets girls know ahead of time that he's only looking to hook up. If I were to do the same, then I'd be able to sleep at night, correct? What do you think about my changed outlook? Am I silly for thinking this?

Am I a douche bag now?