Search Results: he only shows up when he has no girlfriend

My buddy is an awesome guy and we have been playing football for years on a team together. He has only ever dated American girls and I have been the one to put them in their place. His most recent girlfriend treats him badly in private and in the last couple of months, started to smack him and yell at him even when he's out with us. He even flinches when she makes sudden movements.

I would like to show him how it feels to be treated like a man. And foreign women will do this for him. I told him that dating or being married to an American woman is like driving a beat-up Ford Escort. If you are only used to driving a beat-up Ford Escort, then you have no idea what it feels like when you drive a Bentley or Ferrari. You need to at least test-drive a Ferrari, so you'll have a reference point on what a real car feels like.

Here are some of the FACTS that I gave him:

American women..

- highest maintenance (I've never heard of a foreign bride demanding her husband buy expensive house & cars)

- fattest in the world

- most likely to cheat

- highest rate of divorce (60% - US-US marriages; 20% - US-foreign marriages)

- largest payout in divorce court (you'll be ass-raped for everything you earned, plus most of what you will earn for years to come)

- bitchiest

- most likely to nag constantly

- most likely to believe in feminism and "equality"

- most likely to hate men

- spend least amount of time with her children

- worst at cooking and cleaning

- f***ed & chucked by tons of guys before tricking you into marriage

He told her not to hit him any more even though he's not afraid of her since he's a 200Lb linebacker and she's a 120 pound sh*t-disturber. He's now considering breaking up with her and giving foreign women a go.

My suggestions to him are Asian, Polish, Russian, Ukrainian, Phillipino.. any others come to mind?