Search Results: sex, friendship or relationship

Is this possible?

I've asked my self being bisexual many times as well. I feel I've been too controlled, gaslighted and humiliated by women, either bullying as a kid, rejection and friendzone (I'm not forcing them to be my girlfriend but I hate being guilt tripped for me not wanting to be their friend after such a wasted effort). I suspect the abusive figure of my mother is behind this as well. All to the point I can't see women in a positive light when it's about personal relationships. I can be polite, work in a professional environment, but I'll definitely feel uncomfortable anytime things turn personal.

I'm a person who values trust, love and communication over sex. I don't feel comfortable kissing or having sex, indeed. I don't feel entitled to anything, I don't want to control nor be controlled. I've found that for my whole life, the closest degrees of this kind of trust I've ever experienced have been with men, indeed. Forced to call it friendship or not. It's not ideal easy to get the right emotional distance, to reach consensus on what we want, but I've come to feel it's way more feasible for what the people I've known are in my country.

Some people would rather suggest me to approach it via therapy, but I've been there, didn't work.

Disclaimer: I'm not idealizing it. When I think of myself as gay, I don't see myself eventually finding a man I'd love and be loved. It might not even happen, but at least I don't feel that intrinsic aversion I have to women, but hope and predisposition.

This is a long one. I've known this girl for 5 years. We met when I moved out of college into my first place. She was a roommate that was fucking crazy according to the other guys. Theu hated her. So I kept my distance at first. But when I met her I met the kindest warmest person I've ever met. She is also drip dead gorgeous. And as I got to know her I began to realize that what made here crazy we're fears and insecurities that I could relate to. We bonded We became close friends and I got stuck in the friend zone. I dealt with it poorly and ended up breaking off my friendship several times over the course of 5 years. Fast forward to a few weeks ago, we meet up and I saw the same caring warm person I once met, Only this time we hooked up, nothing serious, just kissing and some cuddling. It was magical. We spent an amazing week together where we laughed and cried. That weekend we talked about dating for real. Then she dropped a bomb. She had been seeing a guy earlier. It was nothing serious, but he wanted a relationship with her and she told him yes. She told me, ostensibly broken up and torn and I again did not respond well. We said we would talk next week. She came over and we had sex, bonded more, fought about our situation, proceeded to put a pin in it and love each other. Her boyfriend called one night and she told him what had happened but did not mention sex. She says that she will tell him eventually. She gets upset with him for apparent passive aggressive behavior from his Facebook friends. I don't know if she is being paranoid or not. She leaves to go home and we embrace warmly. She says she's torn between the tww of us. I feel like I am being strung along. She is a girl who thinks the world is a big joke and she is the punchline. She doesn't take anything seriously. Nothing. She then says when she called him she heard another girl. She hung up. She says she "got yelled at" the next day. Now she is distant and cold, as I try and broach the subject with her.