Search Results: mental illness

My family is riddled with mental illness, addiction, narcissism, and abuse. Nobody is genuine, everyone lies, cheats, and steal. Everyone is out for themselves, every time someone is nice they're most likely trying to get something out of you. The only genuine people I actually trust are 2 of my cousins and my 16 year old nephew.

As the youngest sibling, I was treated as everyone's power high. My brother used to beat the shit out of me, my sister would call me awful things, I was viciously bullied in school by students and teachers, and my mother is verbally and sometimes physically abusive and neglectful.

I kept it bottled up because I didn't want to be yelled at more, but the weight of it all was getting too much. After days of chain smoking I finally opened up to my mother, and she did exactly what I feared.

She flexed your struggles, one-upped my depression, compared me to others, used my guilt as a weapon, put me down, and made it all about her. She even said "You will NEVER feel as depressed as I do, and shame on you for putting that on me."

This is the reason my siblings turned to hard drugs, and I turned to food, alcohol, and cigarettes for comfort. I am now fully convinced that my mom is the main source of my depression. My family is a sinking ship, and if I don't abandon it I'll just sink with it.


I have a job and hopefully next year I'll be able to get my driver's license, buy a car and rent my own place. Once it happens, I'm disappearing. I'll move out in the middle of the night, and I'll only leave a long note of things I wanted to open up about to my mother but never could do it in person. I'm not telling her where I'm living and getting a new phone so she can't call me, only contact me through messenger. I also want to start seeing a therapist for the help I've been needing.

People talk about mental health treatment as if they hand it out on the street corner for free. IT'S FAR FROM FREE!! I have a friend who went to see a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia, he was involuntarily sent to a mental ward for 3 days and was left with a $1200 bill after. His insurance covered 80% of the bill. I can't afford that, and I don't have health insurance. I find it tragically ironic that people suffering from mental disorders have the hardest time finding and keeping a job yet mental health care is ridiculously expensive, and they wonder why most homeless people struggle with mental illness.

I tend to talk about my mental struggles on the internet because it's the best I have, it's not good, but it's pretty much all I got. I don't talk about it with family and friends because I was abused by my family and they're the main reason for my disorders and I have no friends because of my disorders.

I NEVER EVER say "I have" I always say "I struggle symptoms of" because I'm not properly diagnosed. I have a good idea of what I may have, but I'm not an expert, so I don't think I have the credentials to diagnose myself.

Also, nobody knows me in real life, so I don't use my mental illness as a tool or a weapon. Most people who know me in real life don't know what I struggle with and even with the people who know, I don't talk about it much. People who use and weaponize their mental illness disgust me.

A girl once refused to continue dating me for these reasons:
- I have tattoos on my forearms
- I'm a goth
- I like riding my motorcycle
- I have a badass persona type (only on the outside... it's different when you get to know me)

Just because she read about a crazy ex boyfriend that set his ex girlfriend on fire, giving her 80% burns (he had tattoos about the devil, rode a motor and was a daredevil), thought I could also possibly do something crazy. She said I seemed like one of those ghetto, bad guy types.

How does my description and what I like links to having mental illness? The guy that did that obviously was sick; a total psychopath.