Search Results: best way to break-up

My best guy friend - we'll call him "R" - and I have been friends for about 10 years now. We met in high-school, he's three years younger than me, and we have the same sense of humor, a lot of similar interests, lots of ways we work wonderfully together in most respects. We genuinely love each other (as best friends of 10 years are wo nt to do). Our conversations haven't gotten "deep", but we both enjoy the scientific discussions, and never really have a dull moment.

I had moved away from my hometown where he is to a different state for a few years, and we lost touch. When I came back about 2 years ago, we started hanging out again like we used to, with the addition of being 420 friends. During all this time we never so much as cuddled, and pursued our own relationships as normal, all failing miserably.

Fairly recently, I got out of a toxic 10-month relationship after finding out that the guy I thought might be close to my soul mate had been dating another girl for 7 of those 10 months. R had come over usually weekly just to chill during that relationship, and was someone I could relax around and be me.

Now, a few weeks after said breakup, I had been going over more often to not be alone and to smoke a bit of the emotional pain away. R said he had a question, he asked to have sex. We both confirmed neither of us are in any place for the drama of a relationship, but we don't want to have sex with some random stranger. So we did it. It was a little awkward at first, but as things started going it just keeps getting better. He does all the little things I've wanted in previous partners, without even having to mention it. He seems to be thoroughly enjoying my efforts, and has said so during on more than a few occasions. He caresses me when we cuddle, though it's subtle. We're both very subtle (it took 3 hours for either us to make a move AFTER deciding we did want to have sex).

Is he just trying to be a comforting friend when he knew I needed it?

My boyfriend and I were together for almost four years. We had been fighting a lot just before the break up but I had thought we were working through our problems. I still love this guy even though he left me the reasons he gave me were that he wasn't good enough for me and then that he wanted to be free without commitment. I feel incredibly betrayed because he basically said I wasn't enough for him. I don't know how to get passed this especially since he was the guy I was planning the rest of my life with and as far as I knew I was the girl he wanted to be with for the rest of his. I feel like a fool because I gave everything up to try and make this guy happy and I still would. He says he wants to still be friends but I'm not going to initiate anything for fear of looking desperate. I don't know how to be just friends with this guy when I love him and want another chance. How can I get passed this in a healthy way while still being open to having a relationship with him if he does decide this was a mistake and he does want me back? Also is there any way to convince him to give us another chance without pushing it on him or looking desperate. I don't want to right away of course because I don't want to depend on him as strongly as I did in the past.