Search Results: bipolar

I was given heavy pain medication when I had a medical emergency last week, most notable being morphine and fentanyl. I had surgery and was given more morphine periodically until I was discharged the next day. I've never done drugs before, but now I feel a dependence on the fentanyl since it played a major role in stopping the worst pain I've ever felt in my entire life. I've had bipolar and clinical depression for a very long time now, all attempts to fix either issue has proven unsuccessful. I've been thinking a lot about how much it helped when they put it into my IV. I'm on a pain medication for recovery, but I feel a dependence on morphine and fentanyl. When I take my pain med they provided, it doesn't hurt until I get up, so I'd call this more of a desire based on a need for more morphine and fentanyl. I've felt that if they can stop that kind of physical pain, maybe they can help with my depression. Should I resist the urge or give in? How do I resist or obtain them?

I can definitely FEEL emotions, but I have trouble expressing them, what I mean is that I would find something funny and not laugh, I would be happy and not smile, and I would be sad and not cry. It makes social interactions very awkward because I have to remind myself to express emotions, like someone would tell a joke and start laughing at their own joke and I have to remind myself to laugh with them so I'm not just awkwardly standing there with my poker face making them feel bad, and I would even find the joke hilarious and still have to remind myself to laugh. I'm trying to fix this and learn to express emotions, but if I can't would this affect dating for me?

by the way I don't think I have Alexithymia because I do feel emotions, but I do have Depression and Bipolar Disorder.

Or any other mental disorder lol.

You may not have it but do you question it sometimes?